Bronson Pinchot (a.k.a. Balki from Perfect Strangers) took over a Fox weathercast after making professional weather person Jeff Jumper self-conscious about his “grown-up haircut” and then jumping into frame to wreak havoc on a live feed of Harrisburg (“There’s a woman in this building right now, she’s on a little squeaky bed and she’s got her underwear around her neck”). Having alienated some of his former co-stars, Pinchot has now focused his career on restoring houses, because a house feels no pain, and the weather never cries.

• Bieber’s houseguests threw a weed party without him. So that’s rude.
• Back when Van Halen was “Tarzan of the airwaves, Billy the Kid meets Spiderman times Flash Gordon,” David Lee Roth insured his penis.
• The First Truly Honest Cable Company.
• ENOUGH WITH THE ARI SHIT. ENOUGH. ENOUGH.
• Thirty-three years of holding our breath for an A Confederacy of Dunces movie, and 10 actors who were up for the part of Ignatius J. Reilly.
• The Kelsey Grammer/Martin Lawrence comedy from Lionsgate will be helmed by Bob Boyett and Robert Horn. “The Lawrence-Grammer project began as a pairing with neither a title nor a concept” and has not yet been pitched to networks.
• I don’t care if you don’t know who Katie Price is. Just appreciate her horse costume and move on with your day.
• The comprehensive music festival guides just keep getting comprehensiver.
• Gore Vidal: The United States of Amnesia looks dooooope.
• The Girlfriend in a Coma pilot gets pushed because Christina Ricci is the only talented actress in the entire world. SMDH, NBC.
• Jurassic Park Secrets is a Tumblr after my own heart. “I don’t hate the velociraptor, I just don’t think she is pretty enough for Muldoon. Actually, I think she is kind of weird, because her face looks like an old woman. And it is not jealousy, I’m honest with that.”
• TMZ should rest easy on Weezy’s seizies. It’s epileezy.
• Game of Thrones links won’t stop until you do.
• Robot ants > real ants.
• How should we feel about Peeps? “They are unusual, they are special, you give them the benefit of the doubt, and even if they don’t taste that great, they’re only here for a little while.”
• “The Tamagotchi’s incessant appetite is bested only by the piles of stinking poop it makes (you can tell they are stinky because they have wavy stink lines rising above them).” —New York Times
• Happy weekend!