Music Monday: Pitch-shifting “Get Lucky” converts it into a Michael Jackson–esque jam; a terrible inauguration song in honor of the Netherlands’ new king gets pulled for crap lyrics (“I will fight like a lion, nothing will stop me / from keeping you safe as long as I live / The W of William, three fingers in the air, come on”); and Snoop Lion on his reincarnation (it was time to “take the party and put it on pause” for Rasta’s sake).

• Chrissy Amphlett, the lead singer of the Divinyls, has died. She was 53.
• Ellen DeGeneres split with her manager, Eric Gold, after trying to cap his profits. Moderately bitchy sources report, “America’s sweetheart ain’t such a sweetheart.”
• Time to start placing your bets on which network pilots will make the cut.
• Have you noticed the CISPA blackout protests? No? Oh. Go ask a libertarian what’s going on.
• Next time you have a bad day at work, just remember the fable of poor A.J. Clemente.
• Comedy Central and Twitter are hosting a virtual comedy festival with Mel Brooks, Steve Agee, Amy Schumer, Paul Feig, and Judd Apatow. It begins next Monday, with Mel Brooks joining Twitter at 5 p.m. and Ben Hoffman tweeting you to sleep as he experiments with Ambien at 11. Comedians making jokes on Twitter? This is unprecedented! #unprecedented
• Futurama has been canceled, again.
• Michael Bay apologizes for Armageddon: “I would redo the entire third act if I could. But the studio literally took the movie away from us. It was terrible.”
• The Dresden Dolls’ Amanda Fucking Palmer is a poet troll.
• Bret Easton Ellis is SAAD to be banned from the GLAAD awards because of those tweets about HIV puddles.
• Mrs. Doubtfire, reconsidered.