1. Joey Fat One is the announcer.

2. Steve Harvey is the host. The holy trinity of Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and Steve Harvey did it big in 2011.

3. Chris Paul playing on Family Feud, instead of playing in the 2011-12 NBA season.

4. The feel-good rumor that the Paul family got on the show by “calling the hotline.” Even I have a Family Feud connection, Chris, so just stop. And seriously, it’s no big deal to cut in front of thousands of families just so you can get some airtime while you’re unemployed. No biggie.

5. The inner lining of Chris Paul’s suit coat is electric purple.

6. The fact that this family of fratty white ladies probably has no idea what a “Chris Paul” is.

7. The accents on these ladies. They all talk like Marky-Mark from the Depahhted. Terrible.

8. The number of times someone in the Paul family leaned over and whispered, “We better not lose to these crazy white girls.” (I’m guessing 17.)

9. The number of Paul family members in the audience who were thinking the same thing. (I’m guessing 31.)

10. The race war that’s about to erupt.

11. The Paul family playing instead of passing in the double points round. ALWAYS PASS.

12. Mrs. Robin flirting with Steve.

13. Steve flirting with Chris Paul.

14. One minute going by, and Steve continuing to flirt with Chris Paul.

15. Steve’s impression of a man wearing Depends.

16. Paul family playing instead of passing in triple. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

17. Chris Paul finally getting something right.

18. Paul family not guessing “radio” when the category was “Thing on a car
that makes noise.” So mad.

19. The initial sadness in Steve’s voice when he realized he had to send home Chris Paul, Mrs. Robin, and the gang and hang out with these women for five more minutes.

20. Sergeant Amy leaning her head on Steve’s shoulder, ever so tenderly.

21. The fact that the Pauls didn’t rig this to win. So dumb. They could have been on again, today.

Rembert Browne writes the daily blog 500 Days Asunder, and will retweet you for groceries at @RembertManX.

Rembert Browne is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ rembert