The Hobbit (2 of 3) (otherwise known as The Desolation of Smaug) is coming for Christmas, and Peter Jackson’s trailer-making Uruk-hai have readied one beardy inferno of a reminder. Don’t forget to bake some Lembas bread for Legolas, making his prodigal return after holidaying in the Caribbean the past few years. You’ll also want to dust off that tin of DHARMA Initiative fish biscuits for Evangeline Lilly, who’ll show up in an arrow-slangin’ elfin love-interest capacity. Hit up Doome Reade real quick, too — you’re gonna need stocking stuffers for those gargantuan Mirkwood spiders, not to mention Smaug (pronounced here as “Smowg”; voiced by Ye Olde Benedict Cumberbatch). Maybe if it all comes together just right and everyone gets along and Gloin doesn’t drink too much this time, you’ll get another mini-episode of Tolkien food-porn, No Reservations: Middle Earth–style. Perhaps a spot of sonorous dwarf song along with it. You never know. It’s the holidays.