Freak Show & Tell: C-Sections, Scalp Ailments, and Adoption Regrets

Every week, television documentaries present us with so many unusual people, with so many strange and/or disturbing problems, you might find it hard to keep up with all of them. That’s where I come in! Here’s an unflinching look back at TV’s Week in Freak Shows.

Pregnant in Heels (Bravo)

Who Is This Now? Curtis and Jennifer.
Why Are We Watching Them? They’ve sought the aid of maternity concierge Rosie Pope in planning their upcoming baby shower, though once she meets them, she quickly sees that they could use her help in quelling their constant bickering.
How Did They Get Here? I mean, there’s never just one cause when a couple clashes, except in this case, because Jennifer is a bossy, high-maintenance nightmare.
What’s the Grossest Thing We See? I can’t decide which is the grossest, so you can choose among the following: Jennifer gloating that she and Curtis live in “the most expensive ZIP code in the continental U.S.” (too bad it’s in New Jersey, honey); Curtis responding to the news that he and Jennifer won’t be able to have sex for six weeks after her scheduled C-section by saying, “Her ass is gonna be sore, but that’s pretty much it”; Teresa Giudice among the guests at the baby shower; the reveal that Curtis and Jennifer have named their daughter “Reign.”
What Have We Learned? People who are friends with Teresa Giudice are as awful as she is.

Embarrassing Bodies (DFH)

Who Is This Now? Keith.
Why Are We Watching Him? He’s seeking medical help for folliculitis, a scalp condition that’s caused him pain for three years.
How Did He Get Here? The infection first occurred after a vacation, but that seems to have been a coincidence.
What’s the Grossest Thing We See? Keith’s angry red scalp looks bad enough on its own, but looking at it while Keith describes the worst of his symptoms — bleeding, “seeping,” and white pus that can arise from nothing worse than pressing down on the area with a flat finger — really brings home the gravity of this disgusting situation.
What Have We Learned? Some medical issues will go away on their own in time, but if your problem has persisted for a matter of years, you are being reckless with your health. Plus it’s revolting.

Monster In-Laws (A&E)

Who Is This Now? Married couple Jennifer and Chris, and Chris’s mother Patricia.
Why Are We Watching Them? Though Chris and Jennifer have been together for 10 years, Patricia refuses to accept their relationship. In addition, Pat has reacted to the news that Chris has sought out his biological mother Flo by telling him he must choose between Flo and Pat, forcing Chris to carry on his relationship with Flo in secret.
How Did They Get Here? When Jennifer and Chris first met, Chris was so smitten that he brought Jennifer home with him that night. Unbeknownst to Jennifer, Chris was still living with his parents at the time, and Pat was so offended by the couple’s having kicked off their, er, physical acquaintance under her roof (she caught them in bed together the next day) that she immediately pegged Jennifer as a “slut,” and hasn’t altered her opinion since.
What’s the Grossest Thing We See? According to Chris, an early discussion between him and his parents about the possibility of his getting to know Flo ended with Pat and her (unnamed) husband threatening to “take [him] back” to the adoption agency.
What Have We Learned? If you live with your parents and you think there’s a chance that your one-night stand might end up being your wife someday, spring for a motel.

Tara Ariano is now scared to scratch her head ever again.

Filed Under: Bravo, Embarrassing Bodies, Monster In-Laws, Pregnant In Heels, Reality TV, The Lunatic Channels