Oh, I see you’ve paused your Sopranos marathon and have stopped crying into your gabagool. What a great time to watch Stephen Colbert’s moving tribute to his recently deceased mother, Lorna: She had 11 children, taught her kids to stage fall, and said … oh no … she wouldn’t miss … Colbert’s … show … for … the … world. COUGH COUGH I’M FINE I’M JUST COUGHING DON’T LOOK AT ME I SAID I’M FINE.

• This is what Slash looks like at the beach.
• Nope, sorry. Inexcusable. Put the baby back in and try again.
• HBO passed on Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman’s Hobgoblin pilot (“Some in the media have compared the project to Inglourious Basterds with magic”). It may have a potential home at FX, but it has also lost director Darren Aronofsky. Is this Mysteries of Pittsburgh adaptation-induced PTSD?
• I would like to suggest the subtitle SPAWN OF CAROL ANNE.
• Hungry as hell, no food to eat, and Joe said that he would sell his soul for just. A piece. Of meat.
• So it does seem to be the hardest word.
• Nothing but rainbows.
• This is a billboard PSA featuring a toddler snackin’ on poo.
• TOO SOON.
• “We pay so much money for that music at the end of the show that I don’t really understand why we even have a promo for next week.” —Matthew Weiner
• Post-viral.
• The life and times of a mushroom trooper.
• Dr. Zweig forever.