Hey! The Golden Globes were pretty great, right? Well, not for everybody. Bret Easton Ellis tweet-grumbled throughout the ceremony, claiming that Jodie Foster “killed off her mother,” was “drunk,” and is a “three-year-old lesbian.” Also: Silver Linings Playbook is our generation’s Annie Hall. Jodie Foster’s speech stumped a few brains, drawing comparisons to Thought Catalog essays and Clint Eastwood’s chair address of 2012. The show was infinitely GIF-able, from Taylor Swift’s sneering Grinchmouth to Drunk Glenn Close. Backstage, there were n-bombs, three Polaroid Big Shot cameras capturing candids, and tiny, delicious Fatburgers. SO MUCH COVERAGE, you felt like you were there, minus the bleeding feet. And now we can rest.

• Finally, you can direct people here the next time they ask you, “What were the toilets like in Pompeii?”
• Why can’t love exist among boxes of macaroni and cheese and “How to Please a Man” algorithms? Chivalry is “in the ICU.” Technology has dressed our hearts in sweatpants. Googling is an activity best performed alone.
• I bet Blue Ivy Carter was really interested in the crinkly paper and fascinating box her $80,000 diamond Barbie came in.
• The Hunger Games: Catching Fire stills and poster are here, though if you got pregnant today your baby would be here before the movie hits theaters. Time crawls, y’all.
• Lonely Obama, “friendly guy,” is looking for a card buddy.
• Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel began shooting in Berlin, and is slated for a 2014 release. Time to perfect your gluhwein recipe for your whimsical theme parties.
• Here: an advertising firm name infographic, in case you were planning to Draperize.
• Country music’s “obsession with mamas” is almost, sort of, barely tangentially feminist.
• The decay of Igloo City.
• New songs from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are great, but not as great as Karen O’s zebra cape.
• Gary Busey on hobbits: “very short, ’cause their legs aren’t long”; “Hobbits like to use cockroaches for games, they like to make necklaces out of ‘em, they like to put hairpieces of cockroaches — dead — in their head, that way they feel like they’re giving to nature”; “can’t tell the boys from the girls, which must make it exciting for them.”