Data, the first robot comic, isn’t out to take over the lucrative human comedy game (the 2 drink minimum messes with his circuitry). His programmer’s goal in creating him was to bring us one step closer to a future in which “we can have a companion robot that doesn’t piss us off all the time” like jerkfaced Siri. He’s equipped with sensors that allow him to read the audience’s response to his jokes (“Using your feedback, [my programmer] hopes that one day I will become an autonomous robotic performer. Like Kevin Costner”), but as a robot who “know[s] no emotion” he will, hopefully, be unable to join in the chilling, angry chorus that has followed Lindy West’s debate with comedian Jim Norton. He can just close his mechanical eyes and rest while the disembodied internet humanoids stand up for freedom of expression by tweeting their desire for “jim norton [to rape] the fat girl” and other sentiments that crash my hard drive.

• Steven Soderbergh loves the studio system, as you know, and of course Hollywood has no problem with Behind the Candelabra being “too gay.” Obviously.
• Channing Tatum is worried about Justin Bieber. Me, I’m still caught up in fretting about the monkey.
• The O.J. Simpson trial’s forensics expert fact-checks the red wedding. They dead, like so dead.
• Behind the scenes of a notable explosion from Fast & Furious 6.
• Props to the news anchor last night who showed this photograph while VOing “What is this Taco Bell employee doing?” Man, I have no idea. Is he reading?
• But how heavy are gum wrappers, toothpicks, lipstick caps and dust mites, really?
• Bob Benson is Don Draper’s gay, Joan-humping, mole spy.
• How did it take so long for someone to finally combine Dickens and Morrissey in one place?
• You got Vinerolled.
• Better check your mutton chops for Inherent Lice.
• I will for sure see you in September, most important game show of my life.
• Naomi Campbell will cut a bitch.
• “If you were in a bathtub for 25 years, don’t you think you’d get a little psychotic?” No, actually, I’ve spent the past 25 years wishing for endless hot water and no conscience about drought. But I’m not a whale, and nobody’s trying to support their full body weight on my nose, so I guess it’s kind of a different thing.