Posts by Shane Ryan
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About Last Night: Lance Takes His Bike, Goes Home
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Thursday. The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency will ban Lance Armstrong for life and strip him of his seven Tour de France titles after Armstrong elected to stop fighting what he called an “unconstitutional witch hunt.” Late last night, witnesses […]
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About Last Night: Oh, Bartolo!
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Wednesday. Oakland pitcher Bartolo Colon has been suspended for 50 games after testing positive for testosterone. “Yes, I must admit, the testosterone was definitely an illegal strategy employed to help my baseball performance,” said Colon, whose recent Internet […]
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About Last Night: Strasburg on the Clock
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Tuesday. Hey everyone, I’m back. I got married last Saturday, which means huge changes for “About Last Night.” I’m an official adult now, and I realized that some of my material is immature and inappropriate. It’s time to […]
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Your Weekend Olympic Viewing Guide
This is your victory lap, America. With two days remaining and more golds to come, the medal-count war is no longer in doubt: U.S.: 41 Golds, 94 Medals Overall China: 37 Golds, 81 Medals Overall The Beijing Olympics are avenged! Breathe easy and enjoy the conclusion. This weekend is a walk up the 18th fairway […]
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About Last Night: Howard’s Manifest Destiny
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Thursday. Multiple sources told ESPN that Dwight Howard has been traded to the Lakers in a four-team deal sending Andre Iguodala to Denver, Andrew Bynum and Jason Richardson to the 76ers, and three players to the Magic. Soon […]
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Your Friday Olympic Viewing Guide
After a brilliant performance from the American women on the most important day of team competition, the medal count is starting to lean very heavily toward the U.S., and we’re enjoying our first lead in the gold-medal count in days. U.S.: 39 Golds, 90 Overall Medals China: 37 Golds, 79 Overall Medals Our resident Saber-Medal-Trician, […]
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About Last Night: Queens of the Beach
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Wednesday. Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh-Jennings won their third-straight gold medal in beach volleyball, beating fellow Americans April Ross and Jen Kessy in two sets. “And with that, it’s time to hang up the ole bikini,” said May-Treanor, […]
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Your Thursday Olympic Viewing Guide
First, the good news: The U.S. is now leading China in the medal count, and it looks like a permanent margin. BOOM! U.S.: 81 Medals, 34 Golds China: 77 Medals, 36 Golds My man Daniel G., inventor of Saber-Medal-Trics — a system that uses SI‘s comprehensive medal predictions to evaluate current results and project the […]
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About Last Night: Aly Adds to Her Collection
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Tuesday. American gymnast Aly Raisman won a bronze medal on the balance beam event final, and followed that up with a gold on the floor exercise. Beleaguered U.S. gymnast Jordyn Wieber finished seventh in the floor exercise when […]
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Your Wednesday Olympic Viewing Guide
There are just five days of competition left in the Olympics, and China stays tantalizingly out of reach in the medal count: China: 34 gold medals, 73 overall U.S.: 30 gold medals, 70 overall Reader Daniel G. has invented Saber-Medal-Trics, which takes Sports Illustrated‘s overall medal predictions and reviews results to date in order to […]
