Posts by Chris Ryan
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So, Chris Carpenter’s Bathroom Sounds Like a Cool Place
Couldn’t have gone with, like, a nice bowl of potpourri? Bonsai tree? No? OK, removed rib it is, then.
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Real Madrid and Manchester City’s Second Half to Remember
You guys … The first half of Real Madrid and Manchester City’s Group D (is for “death”) was not something you would tell your kids about. The second half? That was a reason to have kids, just to tell them about it, especially the last 10 minutes. If this is what bloated contracts, absurd transfer […]
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Jose Mourinho Just Ruined a Really Nice Suit
We’ll have some coverage of UEFA Champions League’s opening day tomorrow. For now, soak in the above GIF of Jose Mourinho breaking the hearts of tailors all over the world.
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Hollywood Prospectus Podcast: The Master, The Return of Boardwalk Empire, and Kanye’s Cruel Summer
Take a seat, pour yourself a tall glass of paint thinner and don’t you dare blink: it’s time to talk The Master on the Hollywood Prospectus podcast (1:30). Chris Ryan and I processed the heck out of Paul Thomas Anderson’s strange and powerful new movie, discussing our favorite theories, moments and performances. While we ended […]
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Buying or Selling: Jay Cutler’s Possibly Misguided Self-Confidence
Selling He is listening to “Call Me Maybe.” You know that, right? This is crazy. Just relax, Jay Cutler. Just simmer down and take your victory in Week 1, where you admittedly looked like Tecmo Bowl Dan Marino, with dignity. Don’t come out here and call your receiving corps “dudes.” Don’t taunt Charles Woodson. Don’t […]
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To Those Commenting on This Brian Scalabrine YouTube Video …
We salute you. Here are some of the best: “Goosebumps. First ballot Hall of Famer for sure. What a magical career. No one lit up the arena like The White Mamba. Cheers to you, Scalabrine, as you walk off into the sunset.” “He dominated the game in all aspects. He is the hero we need, […]
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Hollywood Prospectus Podcast: Special Fall TV Preview Edition
Can you feel it? Football season has started and there’s a crisp chill in the air. While most reach for their pumpkin lagers and autumn sweaters, those of us who toil in the pop cultural industrial complex reach for our helmets and shoulder pads: It’s fall television time. In this special edition of the Hollywood […]
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Sad-Eyed Lady of Arthur Ashe: The Brooklyn Decker Crying Power Rankings
Chris: Rem, when it comes to watching tennis, Brooklyn Decker is the greatest. She’s Alexander. She’s Sonny Liston. She’s Jack Dempsey. There’s no one like her. Her style is impetuous, her defense is impregnable, she’s ferocious. She has our heart. I think she wants to eat our children. Rem: KEEP GOING, CHRIS.
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This Is the Moment in Which Jerry Jones Becomes a Will Ferrell Character
“The moment.” Do you think he’s saying, “Come on down to Ashley Schaeffer Imports and we’ll get you into a nice BMW”?
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NFL Season Predictions: The Plausible and Implausible
Rex Ryan Will Not Make It Through the Season Chris Ryan: If you’re going to make predictions, then you need to pay homage to Rex Ryan, who is basically Q: The Winged Serpent of prediction-making. Not to hard-core troll any Jets fans who might be reading (psych), but doesn’t this feel like Toonces is driving […]