Yesterday, Tim Tebow made the obvious decision to rename his dog. It was “Bronco,” so he had to. There was no way around it. Did he have to land on “Bronx”? Absolutely not. But it happened because he has no one in his corner with any renaming skill. The good thing about renaming, however, is that once you rename your young, innocent, beloved pet, you can just keep screwing with its head indefinitely, renaming it over and over again.

I definitely don’t see the Jets as Tim’s last NFL stop. On numerous occasions, I’ve had the thought that Tebow should spend a little time on every NFL franchise, in a sort of missionary role, spreading joy and the word “great” and mind-boggling football courage throughout the land. If this happens, however, he’ll need to keep renaming that poor dog.

I know this isn’t your style, Tim, but pretend for a brief moment like no one is watching and let Rembert Take the Wheel. Just for renaming. I promise, nothing more.

Baltimore Ravens: Tebow = “Balto” | Me + Tebow = “Bodie”
Cincinnati Bengals: Tebow = “Bengal” | Me + Tebow = “WKRP”
Cleveland Browns: Tebow = “Brownie” | Me + Tebow = “Bronnie”
Pittsburgh Steelers: Tebow = “Steel” | Me + Tebow = “Blue Steel”

Chicago Bears: Tebow = “Baby Bear” | Me + Tebow = “B.J. Armstrong”
Detroit Lions: Tebow = “B Rabbit” | Me + Tebow = “Cheddar Bob”
Green Bay Packers: Tebow = “Cheese” | Me + Tebow = “Guap”
Minnesota Vikings: Tebow = “Minnie” | Me + Tebow = “Daunte Culpepper”

Houston Texans: Tebow = “Tex” | Me + Tebow = “TEXA$”
Indianapolis Colts: Tebow = “Peyton” | Me + Tebow = “Peyton”
Jacksonville Jaguars: Tebow = “Jackson” | Me + Tebow = “LaToya”
Tennessee Titans: Tebow = “Titan” | Me + Tebow = “Cat”

Atlanta Falcons: Tebow = “Georgia” | Me + Tebow = (No dogs allowed. Get a goldfish.)
Carolina Panthers: Tebow = “Caroline” | Me + Tebow = “Petey Pablo”
New Orleans Saints: Tebow = “Saint” | Me + Tebow = “New Orleans Bounty Program”
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tebow = “Buck” | Me + Tebow = “Flo Rida”

Buffalo Bills: Tebow = “Billy” | Me + Tebow = “Billz”
Miami Dolphins: Tebow = “Dolly” | Me + Tebow = “Rich Off Cocaine”
New England Patriots: Tebow = “Patty” | Me + Tebow = “Tom Brady”

Dallas Cowboys: Tebow = “Cowboy” | Me + Tebow = “America”
New York Giants: Tebow = “Queens” | Me + Tebow = “Rikers”
Philadelphia Eagles: Tebow = “Philly” | Me + Tebow = “Illy”
Washington Redskins: Tebow = “Redskin” | Me + Tebow = (anything less racist)

Kansas City Chiefs: Tebow = “Chief” | Me + Tebow = “Missourah”
Oakland Raiders: Tebow = “Raider” | Me + Tebow = “OAKLAND”
San Diego Chargers: Tebow = “Diego” | Me + Tebow = “Chargito”

Arizona Cardinals: Tebow = “Zona” | Me + Tebow = “Kardinal”
San Francisco 49ers: Tebow = “Frannie” | Me + Tebow = “Frances”
Seattle Seahawks: Tebow = “Griffey” | Me + Tebow = “Junior Griffey”
St. Louis Rams: Tebow = “Louie” | Me + Tebow = “Missourah”