The Five Tim Tebow Stories You Meet in Heaven

The haters are jealous of Tebow. They are happy that Tebow’s birth in the Philippines disqualifies him from running for president. So, if that’s you, by all means, take a look at these headlines.

Tim Tebow’s start like a fairy tale, but is there a twist? (Denver Post)
Tebow near the bottom for Week 7 QBR (ESPN Stats & Info)
Tebow’s success a mirage (CBS Sports)

The anti-haters outnumber the haters about 2:1, but nevertheless will let you know that Tebow’s level of hate is unprecedented and an outrage. They often display an infirm grasp of what the word “intangibles” means, using it to describe all manner of things, some of which are tangible.

Tebow’s heart not in dispute (Las Vegas Review Journal)
NFL Scoreboard: Tebow 1, Haters 0 (Wall Street Journal)
The Truth Behind The Tebow Hate (104.5 The Team)
LeBron mocked for calling Tebow a ‘winner’ (USA Today)

Vaguely Religious
Looking for something that hints at Tebow’s religiosity but is not quite willing to go all the way? The vaguely religious headline that uses either biblical imagery or wordplay without explicitly “going there” is a good start.

Time to believe in Tebow’s passion (Fox Sports)
Broncos’ Tebow more than a quarterback (Denver Post)
Tebow expresses his faith in young group of receivers (Coloradoan)

Explicitly Religious
If you’re looking for someone to openly credit Tebow’s success in blatantly non-secular terms and deify him, the explicitly religious headline is for you.

Miracle in Miami (University Of Denver Clarion)
Tim Tebow, Protestant Saint (Religion Dispatches)
Tim Tebow-led Broncos win proves God has a sense of humor — and hates Miami (Denver Westword)

The Completely Inexplicable
Everyone has something to say about Tim Tebow. Not everyone is coherent. When those worlds collide, you get something from this pile.

For $5,000, you can wear Tim Tebow’s pants (USA Today)
Greg Gumbel Defends Tim Tebow By Calling Out Hulk Hogan (Mile High Buzz)
The Tim Tebow Economy (Forbes)

Jordan Carr runs the blog Better than Voodoo while trying to make it as a screenwriter in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter at @btvoodoo.

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Filed Under: Denver Broncos, Tim Tebow