Here is Martin Scorsese reviewing The Searchers: “I go back to The Searchers all the time. A few years ago, I watched it with my wife, and I will admit that it gave me pause. Many people have problems with Ford’s Irish humor, which is almost always alcohol-related.”

• Justin Bieber (whose pants slippage I can no longer handle — I think the naked bootychills are affecting his health) threatens to beat the fook out of a paparazzi. To be fair: I would probably also want to beat the fook out of this paparazzi. Mind your manners, dude.
• Mutiny in SimCity!
• Brett Ratner wins a gold star for damage control and earns himself a GLAAD award.
• Shawn Hatosy, a.k.a. Southland’s Sammy Bryant, has been cast in CBS’s Reckless. I am so nervous about Southland’s future. It’s so good, even though most of the criminals stew their skulls and beat their prostitutes in strangely spotless architectural homes. That doesn’t seem accurate, but I don’t care. Save Southland! DO IT NOW! [Shakes fist at gods.]
• “Slash rocked the Angry Birds Space theme like only he could!”
• Can we blame the fermented grasshoppers?
• This Zelda cake is someone’s greatest work.
• Selling VHS tapes of porn door-to-door is actually kind of whimsical.
• Christina Hendricks takes on Joan Didion’s A Book of Common Prayer.
• Weird old pics at the new National Geographic Tumblr page: fuzzy cows, spiral water slides, and pony parking meters of the past.
• Keep doing you, Snoop Lion.
• Math is hard. So is making a Wizard of Oz movie.
• Domino’s + Hatsune Miku + Scott Oelkers’s embarrassing inflection (“Have you heard of Hatsune MikoOoOo??”) = badvertising.
• I dare do all that may become a bot; who dares do more, is none.
• Shakeup at The View. Happy International Women’s Day!
• HEY GUYS FOUND YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND.