Posts by Tess Lynch

  • Afternoon Links: Missouri Wins ‘Most Tone-Deaf Iron Man 3 Promotion’ Contest

    Hello, Earthlings. It has been a week since I have been beamed down to your planet from HG-430 Helioplex, my home planet, and boy am I enjoying myself in my humanoid role as manager of a movie theater in Missouri, a job I secured after a quick scan of the interstellar classifieds. You all have […]

  • Afternoon Links: In Hollywood, Even the Criminals Are Remakes

    Some poor crazy person dressed up as Tony Montana and engaged in an in-character standoff with police in Hollywood Tuesday night. In one hand he carried a machete; in the other, a DVD of Scarface. After six hours of this nonsense, he threw his machete into a pool but still had to be taken down […]

  • Girls in Hoodies Podcast: The Great Gatsby 3D and the State of Cinema

    Last week, Steven Soderbergh bemoaned the state of the film industry during a talk at the San Francisco International Film Fest, and this week, the Girls in Hoodies respond to some of his arguments. We use examples from a so-far-underwhelming summer movie season and Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming The Great Gatsby 3D as fodder, and probably […]

  • Survivor: Caramoan

    Survivor: Caramoan, Episode 13: Killed by Kindness

    If you watch Survivor, and I’m assuming you do, you undoubtedly find yourself discussing it with other fans over the course of the season. Survivor people have little homing devices; we find one another, and then we stand around in offices or on telephones or huddled over other people’s side tables of BBQ chicken and […]

  • Afternoon Links: The Wedding Is Coming

    There is nothing more awkward than engagement photo shoots, so why not create some emotional distance from the whole thing by adding a little role-playing element? These Game of Thrones–themed prenuptial photos sure beat a couple standing in a field at sunset without fur-lined capes and swords. If you were planning to incorporate velociraptors into […]

  • Afternoon Links: The Pepper Potts Sex Tape Iron Man 3 Director Shane Black Couldn’t Show You

    Normally I’m all for cutting movies into manageable portions, but I’m going to make an exception and say that Iron Man 3 should have retained the scene in which a sex tape featuring Pepper Potts and Aldrich Killian gets broadcast at a Home Depot. Time to dust off the old “I cried when I wrote […]

  • Afternoon Links: Simon Cowell’s Starf—ing Reform, Steve Carell’s Second Good-bye, and Helen Mirren’s Regal Beatdown

    Music news for Monday: The CMT Awards nominations are in; Tan Mom drops some bronze beats into your reluctant ears (sample lyric: “It’s Tan Mom, bitch / Are you ready? It’s Patricia, bitch / […] I want you to back away / get away from me every day”); Queens of the Stone Age join the […]

  • Zach Galifianakis

    SNL Episode 19: Zach Galifianakis Is Let Loose

    Zach Galifianakis likes to make people uncomfortable, and he’s very skilled at it. Besides two previous hosting gigs (pianos, removal of facial hair and hair-hair), Galifianakis’s SNL past includes being thrown out of the audience for trespassing and getting canned after two weeks on the job as a writer, so when he advised the audience […]

  • Afternoon Links: But Wait — There’s MORE Drunk Reese Witherspoon Action!

    Reese, in pieces: Here is yet another video of Reese Witherspoon mismanaging her husband’s DUI arrest. In this clip, Toth informs Witherspoon that she just “turned it really bad.” Ah, scenes from a marriage. Police dash cams just make me feel more nervous about Google Glass.

  • Afternoon Links: The Matrix — Sweet, Confused Mother Edition

    “I keep on wondering, is he straight or gay?” A mom retells the plot of The Matrix. You know, with Leo and Moshimo.

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