Posts by Max Silvestri
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![Rachael vs. Guy]()
Rachael vs. Guy Celebrity Cook-Off Season 2, Episode 4: ‘Picky Palates’
I did not watch last night’s new episode of Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off live, but while my DVR was recording it, someone tweeted at me saying that I’d have “a field day with this episode.” Having now caught up on Episode 4, I imagine this person was trying to say that the whole hour […]
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![Rachael vs Guy]()
Rachael vs. Guy Celebrity Cook-Off Season 2, Episode 3: At the Drive-In
Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, friends and family. Today President Obama renewed his oath of office and began another four years in the White House, and here I am writing so many words about the second “term” (season) of Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off, widely considered the President of quality television. This is exactly […]
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![Rachael vs. Guy]()
Rachael vs. Guy Celebrity Cook-Off Season 2, Episode 2: The Hollywood Walk of Farm
Last night’s Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off faced a lot of stiff competition for our viewing attention. What luck did this senior project of a TV show have against the likes of the Golden Globes, new episodes of Downton Abbey and The Good Wife, and the premieres of Girls, Enlightened, and Californication? Also, what luck […]
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![Rachael Vs Guy Celebrity Cookoff]()
Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off Season 2: The World’s Greatest Cooking Show Returns!
Did anybody have a good 2012? I did not. I have polled a lot of people, or at least some people, and everyone I talked to agrees that 2012 belongs in the garbage bucket. My New Year’s resolution is to buy a garbage bucket. Even Obama, who in 2012 was a doctor office’s magazine’s Person […]
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We Found It on Netflix Instant: Van Wilder: Freshman Year
What It’s About: A rich dick convinces a college full of squares to loosen up by tricking them into drinking and having sex. Who It’s For: Rich dicks. I never saw Van Wilder or Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, so it is perhaps unfair, or even immoral, for me to be reviewing the […]
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![Elevator]()
We Found It on Netflix Instant: Elevator
What It’s About: Nine obnoxious Wall Street party-goers stuck on an elevator must work together to find the most boring way possible to be scared by a bomb. Who It’s For: Elevator repairmen. I have not seen Devil, but I don’t think we can talk about Elevator without talking about Devil. Devil is about how […]
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![A Warrior's Heart]()
We Found It on Netflix Instant: A Warrior’s Heart
What It’s About: A lax bro (Kellan Lutz) must stay out of both the literal and figurative crease in order to attack the net of his own heart. Who It’s For: People who are curious what Kellan Lutz looks like with his shirt off at different times of day, paired with different types of pants. […]
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We Found It on Netflix Instant: Dance Fu
What It’s About: Kel Mitchell is a dancer who can only do karate when music is playing, and he must use his awkward powers to win back his uncle’s club. Who It’s For: Kenan Thompson. Fans of comedy, art, auteurship, independent filmmaking, and sad masturbation jokes continually hold up FX’s Louie as the new paradigm […]
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We Found It on Netflix Instant: Screwballs
What It’s About: Here I quote Netflix: “Five horny high school students in detention decide to get even with the popular girl who squealed on them and landed them on trouble.” Who It’s For: Super horny horndogs just trying to get rid of their painful major boners. I have to tread carefully here, because though […]
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We Found It On Netflix Instant: 1313: Hercules Unbound!
Every so often, Max Silvestri plunges into the depths of his Netflix queue, resurfacing with reports of the strange things he’s found there. These movies are usually terrible, but he writes about them anyway. What It’s About: The legendary Hercules, son of Zeus, wrestles and flexes better than anybody at Warrior Camp, but Hera has […]
