Posts by Justin Halpern

October 16, 2012
The Chargers Pee Their Pants (Again)

When I was in first grade, there was a kid named Thomas who couldn’t go more than a couple weeks without peeing his pants. Every day he’d come to school dressed in a collared shirt and a nice pair of slacks, and every day you’d think, “Will Thomas pee his pants today?” It wasn’t a […]
September 7, 2012
Honest NFL Logos

The truth may hurt — but it’s still the truth.
July 24, 2012
Fauxclusive! LeBron’s E-mail Hacked!

[Click for a larger version.]
May 15, 2012
You Will Never Sleep With a Woman Who Looks Like That

A memoir of Little League and pornography from the creator of Sh*t My Dad Says.
March 7, 2012
Your Favorite Team Doesn’t Give a Damn About You

The writer of Sh*t My Dad Says on Exhibit A: The Chargers.
December 20, 2011
I Would Like to Help You Get Your Show Canceled

Only 7.3 percent of all television shows make it to a second season. I actually have no idea if that’s true, because I don’t know anything about successful television shows. The only shows I’ve worked on have been canceled.