Posts by Tess Lynch
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Survivor: One World — ‘It’s Human Nature’ (and the End of the Line for an Old Friend)
Returning to camp after Kat’s elimination with a slightly higher average IQ, the survivors spend the requisite amount of time crowing about her departure, with overtones of regret: Wasn’t it rich when Kat snarked about blindsides, and other assorted night-vision mumbles that probably should have been subtitled? Tarzan, incredulous at the fact that he’s still […]
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Little Brother Syndrome: Eli Manning and SNL
Look: Peyton Manning killed it on SNL in 2007, especially with the United Way sketch, during which he slammed kids with footballs and punished one little boy by sentencing him to 20 minutes in a Port-O-Let. I wouldn’t have wanted to follow that act, and neither, for some time, did Eli Manning. Professional sports and […]
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Survivor: One World — ‘It’s Gonna Be Chaos,’ Creepy, Creepy Chaos
After Troyzan was voted off last week, I heard some griping about the fact that there were no men left on Survivor: One World save for ol’ Tarz. I get that. I also find it less interesting to watch a group of same-gendered people on a survival game show, because the more diversity you throw […]
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Facebooking the Dead, RIP Trolling, and Mourning in the Online Age
I spent six hours at the emergency pet clinic yesterday. Besides being the horrible experience that it always is — the boxes of tissues, crates of miserably crying cats, howls from the back room, people sobbing openly to the always-chilly-mannered receptionists and then being handed a giant bill for euthanasia — being in the waiting […]
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Survivor: One World — ‘Never Say Die’ on Lady Island
After almost 30 days on the island, the survivors are starting to get that greedy gleam in their eyes, and all of the paranoia and deception that everyone’s been talking about for 11 episodes is finally percolating. Kim is having a harder time being everybody’s lean, tan best buddy; Kat is struggling with the idea […]
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Five Reasons the World Is Probably Ending Soon, Starring Bitey Teachers, Weird Salad Dressing, and Girls
1. AndroGel 1.62% I was watching television on Saturday when I saw a commercial — too slippery for my DVR, un-YouTube-able, but which has not escaped mention — for a product called AndroGel 1.62%, used to treat a disorder known as “Low T,” or low testosterone. The symptoms of Low T include “falling asleep after […]
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Survivor: One World — ‘I’m No Dummy,’ But Maybe I’m a Little Crazy
One time, when my husband and I were walking past a Circus of Books, a rough-looking guy outside asked us for a dollar. Neither of us had a dollar, so we said, “Sorry,” and kept walking. The guy got up and very frantically said, “Come on, man, I need it! I really need it!” Unfortunately, […]
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Brolin Does Brolin Things and ‘The Californians’ Kills on SNL
So. You’ve got Josh Brolin for the week. Josh Brolin, who — goatee or no goatee — can pass for most U.S. presidents, a young Most Interesting Man in the World, Satan, Tommy Lee Jones, anybody on Mad Men (including Megan), characters not yet introduced, and even a handsome human version of a pit bull. […]
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Survivor: One World, Episode 9 – ‘Go Out With a Bang’
We open with the island gods sending one of this season’s many instant messages to the castaways of Survivor island. This one comes in the night, in the form of Jay’s dream that he will be shot. Remember when Kat dreamed that Alicia killed her at the mall? How are these people even having dreams, […]
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A Charming Sofia Vergara Successfully Dreschers Her Way Through SNL
Who knew Sofia Vergara would be such a great SNL host? Did you? Maybe you did — maybe you watch more Modern Family than I do, maybe you’ve got a lot invested in her because of an appreciation for her breasts or very interesting backstory (appearing in Madea Goes to Jail, battling thyroid cancer, an […]