Grantland logo

The Washington Wizards Give Valentine’s Day Advice

Washington WizardsSince they have completely mastered the whole “being on a basketball team” thing, some members of the mighty 6-22 Washington Wizards have decided to branch out in their professional lives. They have become love doctors.

Shelvin Mack, Jordan Crawford, and Trevor Booker took some time out from stenciling Jared Sullinger’s name onto a locker room stall to give Sarah Kogod of NBC Washington some tips on how to make this a very special Valentine’s Day.

According to Mack, you should send your loved one a letter. “Don’t send a text,” he says. That’s good counsel and I’m all for supporting the United States Postal Service, but unless your mailman is using a hovercraft and plans on delivering your letter today, you’re going to probably miss the Valentine’s Day deadline.

And while I’m really backseat driving these guys, let’s talk about Trevor Booker’s tip. This involves buying and wrapping a present, taping an alarm clock to it (OK?), and placing it under your significant other’s pillow, with the alarm going off at midnight on Valentine’s.

That’s crazy. Don’t do that. If you set off an alarm under your girlfriend’s pillow while she is sleeping, YOU WILL PROBABLY STOP HER HEART. So unless you gave yourself paddles and lessons in defibrillation for Valentine’s Day, completely ignore Trevor Booker.

Check out the Wizards drinking Love Potion no. 9 right here. Happy Valentine’s Day.