OH MY GOD, BROS OF MADISON. Speed. It. Up. Look, I get it. That’s your thing. But I am not the only person in the world who is frustrated with the Wisconsin Badgers.
This, from Shane Ryan’s appropriately headlined blog post: Wisconsin: The Most Boring Team in America:
Let’s say the following happened:
1. You experienced a flash of inspiration.
2. You decided to remake 1997’s The Devil’s Advocate, a film starring Keanu Reeves as a hotshot lawyer and Al Pacino as his boss. For those who don’t remember or haven’t yet seen it, Pacino’s character turns out to be Satan. Sorry for the spoiler. (At the end, Reeves kills himself in a display of free will after finding out that Pacino is both Satan and his father. But it turned out all to be a dream, or a premonition, or something.)
3. You opted to stage your remake in the world of college basketball.
Assuming you went through these steps — and I don’t recommend it, beyond the original flash of inspiration — there’s only one man you could cast in the role of Lucifer: Wisconsin coach Bo Ryan.
The 4-seed Buzzcuts are scheduled to face 13-seed Montana at 2:10 p.m. Eastern on Thursday. Feel free to watch it. Or watch this video of someone digging a ditch. It might be more exciting.