Big news, BQBLers. We’ve finalized the playoff structure and will be posting that tomorrow with the regular BQBL scoreboard update. If you can’t wait until Tuesday to read about the terrible quarterbacks of the National Football League, you are in luck. Here’s some BQBL reader feedback.
Date: Wed, 7 Dec 2011
Subject: BQBL – Brandstater
You missed the perfect opportunity for a 5th unnecessary Tebow mention. Brandstater was drafted by McDaniels in 2009 but cut after drafting Tebow!
Jacoby: Do I know you? I met a lot of dudes who sounded like you when I was in Denver earlier this year. Did you offer me weed brownies? Anyway, I know, Scott, it was not lost on me that there were other opportunities to weave in Tebow references. I can weave them into anything. Last night, when I ordered vegetable lo mein, I asked them to hold the Tebow. This morning, when I saw the mailman, I asked if there was anything for Tebow. I find it disrespectful on the part of the Microsoft Corporation that a squiggly red line appears under “Tebow” when I type his name on a Word document. The word “Tebow” on Word documents should reflect the man himself. It should lead, inspire and throw errant passes to the other words.
Date: Tue, 6 Dec 2011
I’m about to blow your mind. I can’t believe no one has brought this analogy to your attention, but it has brought me much joy. Tim Tebow is the new Chuck Norris. I’ll elaborate. You can make any statement about Chuck Norris and people will “believe” it. “There’s not a chin under Chuck Norris’ beard. It’s another fist.” We have now started that with Mr. Tim “Jesus is my Homeboy” Tebow. One of my favorites is: “Tim Tebow doesn’t throw passes, he throws immaculate receptions.” … Have fun wasting time thinking of new ones.
Your 5th female reader,
Jacoby: First off, you know I love being called “beloved.” It reminds me of the intro to Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy.” Who doesn’t love “Let’s Go Crazy”? Secondly, you are not the first to point out the Chuck Norris-ification of Timothy Richard. MTV has taken a break from Bieber-watch to make some Tebow/Norris comparisons. Tebow’s Tebowiness even gave the World Wide Leader some trouble.
Will he keep giving Denver’s opponents trouble this year? For sure.
Date: Tue, 6 Dec 2011
The last Jacoby column had me laughing out loud in the middle of my office — best one yet. Keep up the great work!
Jacoby: Sorry, Sam. I only respond to negative feedback.
Previously by David Jacoby
Reality Scorecard: Priscilla’s Naked, 95-Point Night
The Bad Quarterback League Scorecard: Well Now We’re Just Depressed, Vince Young
Reality Scorecard: Here Come the Baseball Wives
Read more of The Triangle, Grantland’s sports blog.
Contact us at email@example.com