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About Last Night: You Got Spur’d

Tony Parker

In case you were out meeting the Mets, meeting the Mets, stepping right up and greeting the Mets, here’s what you missed in sports on Monday:

  • The Golden State Warriors blew a 16-point lead, and San Antonio’s Manu Ginobili hit a game winning 3-pointer with 1.2 seconds left in the second overtime as the Spurs took Game 1 of their Western Conference semifinal at home, 129-127. The final result overshadowed an epic performance from Stephen Curry, who played every minute of the game and scored 44 points. “It’s too bad that I’m not allowed to come out of games,” Curry said afterward. “I really could’ve used the rest at the start of the fourth quarter so that I didn’t lose the accuracy on my jumper.” He then paused and added, “It’s weird that everyone else came out for at least a little bit. I wonder why the rules are different for me.” Curry then shrugged, before collapsing in a fatigued heap under the weight of his own shoulder movement.
  • An injury-ravaged Chicago Bulls team shocked the defending champion Heat in Miami, 93-86. The Bulls closed the game on a 10-0 run, which once again raises the question: Can LeBron get it done in the postseason? Hold on. Let me watch some tape of LeBron from last postseason really quickly … oh … oh, wow, yeah, he totally can. Never mind.
  • In the first playoff game in Toronto since 2004, the Boston Bruins bounced back to beat the Maple Leafs, 5-2, and take a 2-1 series lead. Tuukka Rask was immense in goal, amassing 45 saves and earning the new name “Tuuukka Rask.” By the end of the postseason, Rask hopes to be known as “Raasskkkk.”
  • The New York Rangers fought back against the Capitals to narrow Washington’s series advantage to 2-1, with a 4-3 win at Madison Square Garden. The Rangers were particularly motivated, as Capitals defenseman Mike Green kept maligning their stadium, complaining over and over again that “this place is not on Madison, it’s not a square, and it’s not even a garden.” Rangers center Derek Stepan, who scored the winning goal, said after the game, “It was just so annoying. I know I’m new to this league, but I mean, that joke’s been around since the ’50s.”
  • Tampa Bay blew a seven-run lead, and Toronto’s J.P. Arencibia hit a go-ahead home run with two outs in the ninth as the Blue Jays beat the Rays, 8-7, at Tropicana Field. The game was another thrilling installment of the Battle of Ray Jay, which can also be referred to as the Ray Battle, or the Jay Battle, or the RJ Battle, or the RJJ Battle, but you don’t have to call it the Battle of the Johnsons, as Josh Johnson is currently on the DL for the Jays, meaning he will not be pitching to Rays second baseman Kelly Johnson at any point in the series.
  • Stephen Drew hit a walk-off double as the Boston Red Sox maintained the American League’s best record with a 6-5 win over Minnesota at Fenway Park. “Yeah, but I still don’t like the guy,” said self-proclaimed Sox superfan Aaron Sullivan. “I mean, he lived with J.D. Drew for years. He grew up with J.D. Drew. He and J.D. Drew share a mom. That’s not the sort of stink you can wash off with one double.”
  • In a battle of teams attempting to avoid relegation out of the English Premier League, 10-man Sunderland struck back to earn a 1-1 draw and a valuable point against Stoke City at the Stadium of Light. Of course, as important to Sunderland’s relegation battle is the negative influence that light has on the players of Stoke City, most of whom have not seen light in many seasons, and will likely suffer greatly in the form of skin burns and boils as the season comes to a close in the weeks to come.
  • Despite eight shutout innings from starter James Shields, the Royals’ bullpen could not nail down the win, as the Chicago White Sox avoided a sweep in Kansas City with a 2-1 victory in 11 innings. While Shields was positive after the game, saying, “I love the Royals organization, and one bad game won’t sour me on this franchise,” he delivered his remarks while winking three short winks, followed by three long winks, followed by three short winks. Shields, increasingly forlorn, repeated this pattern throughout his press conference.