In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Thursday.
- On a night when Kobe Bryant was hampered with a stomach issue, Ty Lawson scored 32 points and the Nuggets forced a Game 7 with a 113-96 win over the Lakers. “It sucks when you’re sick for a big playoff game, doesn’t it?” said Michael Jordan, in a really sarcastic phone call to Bryant. “So hard to play well. So hard to win. Hey, good luck man. Good luck with everything. Jordan out.”
- Kevin Garnett scored 28 points and grabbed 14 boards as the Celtics eliminated the Hawks at home with an 83-80 win. In the postgame press conference, Garnett sounded off on Hawks owner Michael Gearon Jr., taking him to task for calling Garnett “old” and “dirty” a day earlier. “All you hep cats in the broad sheets are groovin’ to the words of a blue-hair square with a little scratch, and it ain’t very electric, daddy-o,” said Garnett, who was also covered in dirt.
- Andre Iguodala made two free throws with two seconds left to give the 76ers a 79-78 win over the Bulls, and a 4-2 series victory. After the final whistle, Iguodala and his teammates danced on the scorer’s table as the 76ers anthem blared over the loudspeakers. In the quiet losing locker room, the only noise came from Carlos Boozer, who played acoustic guitar and sang about fiscal responsibility.
- 49ers quarterback Alex Smith said Randy Moss showed no rust in his first formal practice with the team. He also showed no rust in his player-staff relations, forcing the team chef to eat a wet sandwich he’d accidentally dropped in a locker room puddle.
- The Miami Heat issued an apology to Amar’e Stoudemire for a mocking comment made by the PA announcer — “He has been extinguished from the game” — after his sixth foul on Tuesday night. “Obviously, this is a very flammable situation,” said the Heat rep. “We wanted to apologize and essentially cover our mistake with pale yellow monoammonium phosphate. Just smother the whole mess, you know?”
- Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett allowed seven runs in less than three innings, exiting the game to a storm of boos from his home fans in an eventual 8-3 loss to the Indians. But it wasn’t all bad news for Beckett — while his teammates finished the game, he shot a 38 over nine holes at a night golf course in Boston, even coming away with two birdies on holes five and seven.
- In a 6-5 loss to the Orioles, Texas’s Colby Lewis became the first pitcher since 1918 to strike out 10 batters and also allow five home runs in a single game. “If I have to share space in the history books, I’m glad it’s with a class act like Colby Lewis,” said Jamie Moyer.
- Stephen Strasburg struck out 13 over six innings as the Nationals ended a three-game slide with a 4-2 win over the Pirates. “Just glad for the publicity,” said the Pirates manager, whose name nobody could remember.
- CC Sabathia outdueled David Price, allowing just two runs and striking out 10 in eight innings as the Yanks beat the Rays 5-3. To be fair to Price, he was jittery for most of the game after teammates pulled a prank and convinced him that if he lost, Sabathia would try to eat him.
- After the Minnesota Senate approved the plan for a new stadium, the Vikings are just a signature away from making it a reality. Unfortunately, due to the state’s Byzantine procedural laws, that signature belongs to Brett Favre. Oh, politics!
This week’s Reader’s Revenge topic is Your Worst Workplace Embarrassment. Click that link to learn more about the RR franchise, and send your best stories to email@example.com for a chance to make the top 10 on Monday. Good luck.