In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
- The NFL Injury and Safety Panel has instructed game officials to be on the lookout for concussion symptoms. As of this morning, 14 officials have separately reported Eagles head coach Andy Reid.
- The Chicago Cubs fired manager Mike Quade. It feels like we hardly knew him, doesn’t it? In fact, it feels like we hardly knew he was the Cubs manager.
- Congressional Democrats are pushing Major League Baseball to ban tobacco products and institute HGH testing. They plan to hold firm to this option until Republicans raise an objection, at which point they’re willing to settle for legalizing HGH and making tobacco use mandatory.
- On a conference call with the National Basketball Player’s Association executive committee, union president Derek Fisher denied allegations that he met in secret with David Stern to cut a side deal. In unrelated news, the NBA lockout has been resolved in favor of the owners, and play is set to resume almost immediately as the Los Angeles Derek Fishers take on the Minnesota Derek Fishers on opening night.
- The Red Sox and Cubs have been given another week to determine how much Chicago will compensate Boston for the final year of Theo Epstein’s contract. The Cubs offered former manager Mike Quade, and the Red Sox expressed interest, asking what position he played.
- Tim Tebow said he had no problem with Detroit linebacker Stephen Tulloch assuming the prayerful “Tebowing” pose after sacking him last weekend. He was just glad Tulloch didn’t strike the other Tebow pose, which involves flapping your hands in shock and excitement because you’ve just thrown a spiral.
- Ohio State running back Jaamal Berry has been suspended from the team after allegedly assaulting a 21-year-old man in Columbus on October 21. According to witnesses, Berry punched the man in the face and then bragged about what he’d done. When reached for comment, former OSU quarterback Terrelle Pryor said, “That’s weird, I have a tattoo depicting a scene just like that.”
- The Phillies have given the Cardinals permission to speak with Ryne Sandberg concerning their vacant manager position. Oddly enough, though, they’ve stipulated that the entire conversation must be in French.
- An adviser to Floyd Mayweather said that the boxer will be looking for the “biggest fight possible” on May 5, implying that the opponent might be Manny Pacquiao. If Pacquiao would simply agree to have his entire supply of white blood cells drained a month prior to the bout, the Mayweather camp thinks this thing could finally happen.
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