In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
- Inclement weather postponed Game 6 of the World Series, but Rangers manager Ron Washington says he won’t use starter Derek Holland on full rest even if the series goes to a seventh game. Cardinals manager Tony La Russa was happy to hear the news, and now plans to call Holland on the bullpen phone and have him pitch the eighth inning tomorrow night.
- Despite rumors that a move was imminent, West Virginia has received notice that Big 12 expansion is on hold. Which, ironically, is the same thing some West Virginia residents say right before they get really, really fat.
- Floyd Mayweather was acquitted of misdemeanor harassment in a Las Vegas court yesterday after it was determined that his threatening words toward security guards did not constitute a crime. In his decision, the judge referenced Mayweather’s career. “He’s been threatening Pacquiao for years now,” he said. “And look what’s happened there. Nothing. This man is innocent.”
- Despite the fact that a federal mediator couldn’t help NBA players and owners reach an agreement, the sides met again on Wednesday to discuss the labor situation. This time, the meeting was officiated by Libertarian presidential candidate Ron Paul, who confused both sides when he advocated firing all trainers and team doctors.
- Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski said he apologized to owner Robert Kraft for pictures on Twitter in which he appeared with an adult entertainment star. He also apologized in advance for any videos that might leak online, especially if those videos feature Gronkowski and the woman, and he’s wearing a Robert Kraft mask and throwing dollar bills around and making her refer to him as “Sir Robert of Foxboro.”
- Eagles cornerback Asante Samuel said that earlier comments he made comparing the organization’s front office to fantasy football owners were due to high emotions. Now that he has a clearer head, Samuel said the front office executives are more like teenagers in study hall playing paper football.
- A source has indicated that LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, and Chris Paul have each pulled out of a scheduled world exhibition tour featuring NBA players. The source said they want to use the lockout to spend more time with their families, and that Paul wants to be available for labor negotiations. And by “families,” they meant “loose women,” and by “labor negotiations,” Paul meant “loose women.”
- Vikings defensive end Brian Robison has been fined $20,000 by the NFL for kicking Packers offensive lineman T.J. Lang in the groin last weekend. When told of the punishment, Robison had some questions. “Is it a flat $20,000 for a kick to the testicles, or are we talking $10,000 per testicle here?” he asked. “Because I’m pretty sure I only kicked one testicle. You can ask T.J. Lang about that. I think he’ll back me up. It was just one testicle.”
- In their ongoing effort to rebuild the franchise, the Cubs have hired two more executives to serve in Theo Epstein’s front office. Unfortunately, both executives are John Lackey.
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