As the long, hot summer drags on, we here at the Triangle figured we’d provide a steady stream of NFL goodness as a reminder of the light at the end of the baseball-lined tunnel.
Yo, Jeff Saturday is like Peyton Manning’s BEST FRIEND EVER. I am totally making this up, but I bet at Peyton’s marriage to his no-doubt lovely wife Ashley, he had his brother Eli as his best man and right before he said, “I do,” turned to Eli and said, “compared to Jeff Saturday you are walking garbage.” That’s how much this dude loves Jeff Saturday.
Which is why I love this video. “Just playing fucking center!” Are you kidding me? Do you sell televisions with that mouth, Peyton!? (Yes.) I am really glad that Peyton Manning is coming back. You always want to see the best players playing at their best … Oh, sorry. I just bored myself to sleep for a second. I am really happy for Peyton Manning to be back because Peyton Manning LOSING IT ON DUDES is one of the funniest things in sports. Peyton Manning Face is just the coming attraction to Peyton Manning Lighting You on Fire With Words. Oh, man. The above video is what Peyton Manning does to people HE LIKES. The first time Eric Decker comes out of his break a yard early, you can only imagine: “ARE YOU MARVIN HARRISON? ARE YOU AN ASTRONAUT!? I WOULD TELL YOU TO PLAY WIDE RECEIVER BUT YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO DO THAT. YOU STOP RUNNING WHEN I SEND YOU A TELEPATHIC MESSAGE THAT SAYS STOP RUNNING.” Welcome back, Peyton. R.I.P. Eric Decker’s self-esteem.