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Woody Allen’s Endless Casting Quest Leads Him to Joaquin Phoenix

Also in the Afternoon Links: The first trailer for ‘Girl Meets World,’ a lovable sitcom star joins Martin Scorsese’s HBO rock show, and Samuel L. Jackson likes porn.

Joaquin Phoenix

Woody Allen has a wish to work with every actor who’s even remotely well known before he dies. He hasn’t specifically said so, but just look at his last few flicks (including this summer’s Magic in the Moonlight): Michael Sheen, Marion Cotillard, Cate Blanchett, Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansson, Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz, Peter Sarsgaard, Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page, Larry David, Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts, Antonio Banderas. Now he’s made his way over to Joaquin Phoenix, who’ll star in a movie we know nothing about because that’s how Woody Allen Woody Allens. But it’ll be set in Europe and feature jazz and old-timey credits, obviously.

The first trailer for Girl Meets World is here. It’ll premiere on June 27. Corey is the girl’s teacher. It’s going to make you feel good, bad, or just very, very strange.

Kanye is just so sad to be ziplining :( (Counterpoint: Kanye is happy sometimes!)

Doctor Who‘s Matt Smith is joining Terminator: Genesis “in a major role that will grow in the second and third films.”

Ray Romano is doing Scorsese’s HBO rock show. He’ll play “Zak Yankovich, the close confidante and right-hand man to Richie (Bobby Cannavale), the tough and sharp-witted head of promotions of American Century with decades of experience dating back to the dark, mob-infested days of the recording business.” Mick Jagger’s an executive producer.

Mariah-fy yourself, you elusive chanteuses.

The Internet has two new Earl Sweatsongs for you. Here’s one, here’s the other.
[protected-iframe id=”05a1cdce84035638c974cfa0644775d0-60203239-57808363″ info=”https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?visual=true&url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F147531584&show_artwork=true” width=”100%” height=”166″ scrolling=”no”]

Ricky Gervais’s Derek has a second season hitting Netflix soon. Here’s a trailer about that.

Speaking of the ‘flix: This is Netflix in real life.

Speaking of the ‘flix just one more time: What’s streaming starting in May? Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Don Jon, Hook (great way to remember Bob Hoskins), Godzilla vs. Mothra (timely), Stephen King’s insane directorial work Maximum Overdrive, and much more.

Samuel L. Jackson’s modern-day pop culture recommendation for Captain America to catch up on when he gets a chance? RedTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJH3hiIXOoc

Whatever you say, J.K.

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And lastly, we’ve got Andrew Garfield playing and singing the Spider-Man song. Happy weekend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8GLoDHZMZQ