Grantland logo

Video on Demand Report: Space Jails, Stooges, and Gringos

The Headliner

Lockout
https://www.youtube.com/v/pmAbEgayExs?version=3&hl=en_US

This is a movie about a prison break. No big deal, right? They made a whole TV show about one that lasted for an improbably long time! Except … WAIT. This prison is in space (so why it is not called Space Jail, I am sure I don’t know), PLUS the break occurs when the prison is hosting a visit from the president’s daughter, and the only way to get her out is to send in a disgraced former government agent who’s a total loose cannon. Now are you interested?! Well, don’t be: I saw it opening day and it’s pretty boring.

New And Notable

Friends With Kids
https://www.youtube.com/v/S0cYheYIT4o?version=3&hl=en_US

Jennifer Westfeldt wrote and directed this unofficial Bridesmaids reunion (Kristen Wiig, Jon Hamm, Chris O’Dowd, and Maya Rudolph are all involved), which fairly portrays all positions on child-having: those who want kids, those who don’t, and those who didn’t but have them anyway.

Casa De Mi Padre
https://www.youtube.com/v/01IYDy2Gdk4?version=3&hl=en_US

Will Ferrell made a movie in Spanish, because why wouldn’t he?

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
https://www.youtube.com/v/JSYuTFK8Eas?version=3&hl=en_US

The premise of this one seems to be that if you have lots of oil money, you can spend it on violating the natural function of an ecosystem. I don’t think it’s a great idea, but I’m not a biologist. Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt are probably very charming together, regardless.

Mansome
https://www.youtube.com/v/R_-8gumx8FA?version=3&hl=en_US
If you saw Morgan Spurlock’s documentary Pom Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (his multi-brand-sponsored investigation of product integration in film), you might recall a segment in which Ben Silverman approaches Spurlock about directing a film about male grooming for a relevant sponsor. Apparently, Spurlock did it, because here is that movie.

The Three Stooges
https://www.youtube.com/v/Z4IoUo_ZJkY?version=3&hl=en_US
People talked a lot about how unnecessary the current Spider-Man reboot is, but if we as a society let the Three Stooges movie happen, clearly anything goes.

Bel Ami
https://www.youtube.com/v/MP_EMqvyVH0?version=3&hl=en_US
Twilight star Robert Pattinson plays some kind of olden-days man-whore, which goes OK for a while and then becomes a bummer.

She Monkeys
https://www.youtube.com/v/muRqiG1ipTU?version=3&hl=en_US
All girls love horses! Too bad this Swedish film makes that affinity seem like the most sinister thing in the world.

The Runway
https://www.youtube.com/v/NJGuvzJ7U7g?version=3&hl=en_US
Oscar nominee Demián Bichir stars in this frothy-looking nonsense that will remind you, in case you forgot, that people who live in small Irish towns are quirky as hell.

Intruders
https://www.youtube.com/v/SP4ctHlPSQ8?version=3&hl=en_US
Everyone’s entitled to make a junky horror movie — even Clive Owen.

“In Theaters” VOD Pick

4:44 Last Day on Earth
https://www.youtube.com/v/A-1Q7EevCy8?version=3&hl=en_US
If you were intrigued by Seeking a Friend for the End of the World but wish it were way more disturbing, good news! Abel Ferrara made this.

Weird Indie of the Week

Drunkboat
https://www.youtube.com/v/xRI5ofmEoyc?version=3&hl=en_US
John Malkovich plays a dissolute, unkempt drunk as opposed to an urbane sophisticate. Sure! (Confidential to whomever produced the trailer: It’s spelled “Dana Delany.”)

Early VOD Premiere of the Week

Assassin’s Bullet
https://www.youtube.com/v/G0m6kazVfTg?version=3&hl=en_US
Christian Slater makes his second VOD OCD appearance in as many weeks! In another movie you’ve never heard of and won’t see.

Masochist’s Choice

Get the Gringo
https://www.youtube.com/v/Bui8shxlYl0?version=3&hl=en_US
It seems as though there are still people who will work with Mel Gibson, but that doesn’t mean you have to pay to see what they did.