Grantland logo

Total Recall’s Three-Boobed Hooker Revealed, Blogged About

Totall RecallWe’ll keep this brief, because you’ve waited long enough for it. Remember the three-boobed hooker the upcoming Total Recall reboot’s been promising you for months? (Of course you do. You’ve got one of those giant tear-off calendars on your wall to count down the days to the release date (August 3rd) so you can see a three-boobed hooker. Above that calendar is a sign that says “Three-Boobed Hooker Countdown Calendar.”)

Anyway: They’ve finally delivered the three-boobed hooker. You’ll have to go to TMZ to see her, because this is a Family Web-Site, and there are rules about the numbers of hooker-boobs we’re allowed to show you. (Two.) And just in case you’re wondering how many of the mutant mammaries are authentic, Kaitlyn Leeb, — IMDb’d as “Seductive Woman,” coyly — the actress who is bringing all your three-boobed-hooker-related fantasies to life, has tweeted a very important clarification.: “Just so everyone knows…all THREE breasts for total recall are a prosthetic piece. Meaning…NONE of them are mine! :)” There you have it: They are prosthetic and they are spectacular. Hope you’re happy, weirdos.