We are just three weeks out from the premiere of Man of Steel, and, more importantly, the moment that Superman will launch himself into the upper reaches of the atmosphere, close his eyes, and listen to the millions of voices crying out from Earth’s besieged multiplexes in either delighted rapture or unbridled outrage, then decide whether to return to his adopted home to bask in the glory of the triumphant box office hero or fly himself right into the center of the sun, an unloved martyr accepting with fatal resignation that his time has passed. The threshold for the decision will probably be about 75 million opening-weekend American dollars. Below that, the chatter will be of disappointment, of underperformance, of unmet expectations. Above that, the cheers will drown out the sighs, and Krypton’s favorite son will justify putting off his nuclear self-immolation through at least the debut of the sequel.
This Superman is taking his best shot, however. He’s dropped a new trailer dominated by monotone Zod threats laying out the stakes plainly, ominously: “The fate of your planet rests in your hands.” This one isn’t a tearbuster, it’s tightening a steel glove around your throat, promising to choke those hot tears right back into your head if it doesn’t get what it wants. Surrender on June 14, or watch this world suffer.
Kneel before Zod.
Oh. We’re already kneeling?
Guess it worked. Must have been the part where Superman is buried in a thousand skulls. That tends to get our attention.