“Let’s all reconvene here several months hence, after they’ve revealed the first official trailer, and decide whether or not to strip Snyder to his burgundy galoshes and lock him away in the Phantom Zone,” we wrote back in late July after viewing some inconclusive teaser footage, skeptical that 300 slow-motion fetishist Zack Snyder would be able to translate his CGI ab-fabricating magic to the rebooted Superman franchise. Well, the full-length trailer for Man of Steel has finally been unleashed on the public, and here we are, keeping our promise to consider the new evidence in the case of Nerds v. The Guy Who Inflicted Gerard Butler on the World, How’s That Working Out for Everybody?
And the Kryptonite-speckled scales have fallen from our eyes. Wow, it looks good. It’s all imperiled school buses and flowing capes skimming along Arctic ice and heartfelt talks with Kevin Costner and tender hugs from Russell Crowe and flame-engulfed, hairy Super-torsos and clenched fists initiating blastoff sequences for one-manned flights that cleave the atmosphere. And oh, hey, there’s Michael Shannon as our villain, who, at some point, is going to say “Kneel before Zod!” and explode a million fanboy boners with only the sound of his terrifying voice.
So yeah, nice trailer. We’re intrigued. Let’s see how this all plays out.