Last night at New York University, for 80 straight minutes, without assistance, an intermission, or even a pause, rapper/author/producer/director/historical online figure human being Lil B gave a lecture.
It’s impossible to truly explain what it was like to be a part of this event. Thankfully, the good people at The FADER have blessed the Internet with a full transcript, there is a full audio recording on Soundcloud, and there are some great quotes and video clips at Pitchfork, just to fully round out all of the non-taste-and-smell sense experiences.
Feeling the need to do my part, I saw the only missing aspect of the next-day review cycle was a list that categorized all of the points he made, beliefs he shared, and advice he gave. So while I highly suggest treating the full transcript and audio file as a joint experience, if you don’t have multiple hours to spare, here is a Lil B Lecture Cheat Sheet to hopefully give you a small sense of what took place.
Things Lil B loves
NYU, everyone in the audience, all things, animals, insects, tabby cats, the NYU staff, NYU students, NYU teachers, being alive, human beings, spreading love.
The audience composition, according to Lil B
Beautiful people, legends, historical human beings, the future, brave people, gorgeous people, models, rappers, students, positive people, people of a high class of honor.
Lil B’s hopes for the audience
They become family, live as long as possible, have a great life, have a healthy life, live a life full of fun, live a life full of adventure, live a life full of mystery, live a life full of trials and tribulations, that everyone is on the same wavelength.
The “old” Lil B
Generalizing, stereotyping, not always positive, too busy trying to be cool.
Lil B’s specialties
Love, spreading love.
Things Lil B is thankful for
The audience not judging him, the audience embracing him, the audience accepting him, the audience making him feel gorgeous, his car that gets him from point A to point B safely.
Things Lil B says people didn’t ask for
To be born, to be you, to have this skin, to live where you live.
Things that are real, to Lil B
Women, relationships, being together, real (because it recognizes real), integrity, loyalty, passion, friendship, honesty.
Things Lil B didn’t bring to the lecture
A pen, a pad, a speech.
Things Lil B did bring to the lecture
Himself, love, a beautiful quilt, a few of his rare books (with the positive DVD inside).
Things Lil B respects
Humans, women, others, ant colonies.
Things Lil B once had but gladly no longer has
Hood credibility, imaginary hood respect.
Things that are not honorable/need to stop, according to Lil B
Violence, senseless violence, picking on people, war, retaliation, only thinking about capital gains, gun violence, chemical warfare, biological warfare, hydraulic fracking, messing with the earth, littering.
Organization Lil B supports
ASPCA
Questions Lil B used to ask himself when he was younger
Am I walking weird? Is there something in my butt?
Lil B’s instructions for NYU students
Be positive, get past dwelling, don’t be hard on yourself, don’t stress too hard, pat yourself on the back, don’t just do something because your parents want you do be that, don’t be depressed anymore, don’t let other people put you in a box, believe in yourself, wash your hands, get gold teeth, protect Lil B.
Things Lil B claims to not know
Everything, what ants say to one another.
Thing Lil B is working hard to learn
What ants say to one another.
What Lil B says “black” means in the dictionary
Coal.
Thing Lil B says we take for granted
Being alive.
The secret of life, according to Lil B
Look at people like they are golden, million-dollar babies.
Alternative career paths for Lil B
Neurosurgeon, someone who is into bugs.
Hardships Lil B has faced
Name calling, household ant problems.
Things Lil B thinks about on a daily basis
Car safety, seat belts.
Lil B’s stances
Animal adoption, being pro-caring.
Things one might think upon seeing Lil B
That he’s a baby, that he’s a little alien.
Thing Lil B feels when he goes to sleep
Happy.
Things Lil B takes seriously
People, the Based God.
The thing Lil B really wants to know
Who built this building in which the lecture took place?
Things Lil B says you should listen to
The voices in your head, your gut feeling, your heart.
The thing Lil B finds quite amazing
The fact that you can physically raise your hand.
The thing Lil B is on the fence about
Running for president.
Lil B’s shout-outs and salutes
Jay-Z, everyone here to learn and love and find their way, white warrior blood cells, red blood cells, the brain, New York, Sam, the architects, anyone designing things, the generation, all of our kids who are going to be friends, Seb, the humans before us, The Pack, Mac Maine, Birdman, Drake.
The reason Lil B says people get infections
You’re writing a paper and then you wipe your butt and then you shake someone’s hand.
Things Lil B says we can’t judge
The rich, the homeless, the dog, the cat.
Lil B’s feelings on NYU
One of the best schools ever.
Why Lil B is excited about the future
Our kids, no boundaries, no color, no judgment, the fact that he’s making a city, being on TV every day, “a new song with the biggest artist on Earth,” his new rock album California Boy.
The most important thing, according to Lil B
Forgiveness.
Things Lil B is willing to do
Be vulnerable, be one of the most critiqued artists ever, die for the humans, die for positivity, be a role model.
The thing Lil B thinks is crazy to him
The fact that people call him the Based God, which he accepts, all the while knowing that he’s not the Based God, because the Based God is better than him.
Things Lil B says you should watch out for
The media, the industry, managers, fake managers, industry predators, sexual predators.
Thing Lil B says you can’t do
Write down love.
The definition of “based,” according to Lil B
“Shwoo, shwoo, shwoo.”
Lil B’s hobby
Painting (watercolors).
Person Lil B likes to imitate, which he is afraid he might get put in prison for
Mitt Romney.
Lil B’s thoughts on gray-haired older women
Congratulates them for “making it so far on earth.”
Thing Lil B will gladly do, because it’s the right thing to do
Pay taxes.
What Lil B considers to be “bilingual”
English, slang.
What happens when Lil B kisses your hand
It turns to gold.
I hope everything makes sense now.