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Talking Tree vs. Talking Raccoon, in Brief

Watch Vin Diesel very, very briefly talk about playing a talking tree.

Watch Vin Diesel very, very briefly talk about playing a talking tree …

… or Bradley Cooper very, very briefly talk about playing a talking raccoon.

[Disclosure: Grantland and Marvel are owned by the all-powerful Walt Disney Company, which did not pay for the placement of these items. Though they probably don’t hate that we did it. Wow, a new Tesla! Where did that come from? Gotta go!]

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. has a release date. Wait, come back here! You definitely care about the Guy Ritchie reboot of a TV show nobody under the age of 50 has heard of!

Breaking Amish is getting a spinoff series. (They go back.)

Is Matt Lauer actually creepy around a young Olympian? Is Conan just editing him to be creepy? Unclear. (OK, maybe not that unclear.) But: #creepy.

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ICYMI: Full House Without Michelle is secretly the “For sale: baby shoes, never worn” of viral videos.

Dogewolf T-shirt is much dire, so Westeros.

Keywords Katy Perry dark horse PINK EGYPT.

Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys is producing Lana Del Rey’s new album.

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Maybe it’s time to temper our expectations (did we have any? Can’t remember) for the Heathers musical.