In Austin, they refer to me as Methuselah.
It’s a very fitting name, considering the length of time I’ve been here (six days), and the amount of time I have left (five days). While many a friend, old and new, has arrived, spent a few days here working and partying, and headed back home to continue with their real lives, I’m still putzing around, passing out unsolicited advice while investigating the quality of public schools in my hotel’s school district. As the Interactive portion has officially wrapped up and the Music crowd has stormed in with reckless abandon over the past 24 hours, I have done everything in my power to be that homely guy on the corner who gives directions to people who already have maps, talks loudly about how different Austin was in early March, and walks with his arms out in front of his body, yelling, “LOOK AT ALL THE WRISTBANDS ON MY ARM.”
It took 24.9 years, but I think I’ve finally found my home.
As one of the handful of people who arrived before SXSW and will leave after, I know that I have the responsibility to report on how the festival is changing as different demographics come and go. The fate of the world depends on me to tell the full story of South by Southwest, and I won’t let her down. Even though Tuesday served as the fulcrum with regard to the festival shift, and it may be too early to tell how drastically different the first and second halves will be, there are already some glaring changes. Here are four:
1. Cars
Driving around Austin for the first few days was miserable. Why? Because the Interactive crowd brought/rented cars. Because they’re bougie. As for this morning, I practically ghostrode my car down one of the major thoroughfares — downhill — without seeing another non-taxi on the road. Bless you, carless music fans.
2. The Convention Center
For the first four days, the center of the action was the Austin Convention Center, home base for SXSW. This is the area where panel discussions, lectures, and keynote speeches take place. While this was an Interactive-dominated festival, there were times when the building was so crowded you could barely walk from one side of the atrium to the other. As for trying to find a spot to set up shop and do work, if you arrived after 10 a.m., you were pretty much out of luck. It was eerily reminiscent of a college library halfway through finals, with multiple coats, laptops, and humans draped over tables, securing spots for the entire day. And if the first four days of the Convention Center were like a college library, the building now resembles an Obama for America job fair in Jackson, Mississippi.
3. Weather
When it rained for the first three days, people were sad. Now that it’s not raining and even sunny at times, people are happy.
4. The Presence of a Camel
Early in the festival, there wasn’t a camel roaming the streets. Now there is.
One of the festival’s few constants, however, is the degree to which hustling is the name of the game at SXSW. I know on the surface they seem quite different, but let me be the first to note that there is no difference between telling someone to download an app and asking someone on the corner to listen to a demo CD. They are exactly the same. Do not be convinced otherwise.
Winners:
Chevy (again): They really are dominating this festival with the free rides. I’ve become so dependent on them that I refuse to use a taxi for the rest of my time here. As for the wonderful souls driving them: way to be the nicest people on Earth. En route to my hotel, my man Yale and I talked about home, religion, and our families. As for the last taxi I took, my driver sucked his teeth when I used my card, and then complained when I left him a tip in Disney dollars.
Hotel bars: While not the coolest option (according to cool people), if there’s ever a time where you don’t want to deal with a two-hour line and want a surprisingly fun social outlet, the downtown hotel bars have proven to be the answer. No lie, after 1 a.m. I can’t tell the difference between the Four Seasons’ watering hole and Ibiza.
Ginger beards: There are a lot of them, and each man, woman, and child with one is killing it.
Really bad midday techno DJs:: There are a lot of them and each man, woman, and child that fits this description is guaranteed a job at one of the city’s many restaurant/bar hybrids. (Good lord, they are so bad, but so recession-proof.)
Music documentaries: Between Shut Up and Play the Hits, Marley, Re:Generation, and a few others, this often overlooked and underappreciated genre has become one of the highlights of SXSW, either because of the subject matter or the creative ways in which the films are being premiered.
Losers:
Health and fitness:: These two concepts have never met South by Southwest. They fry lettuce and shoot joggers here.
Police: They are missing so many crimes, all the time.
Four or more scruffy men with shirts half unbuttoned standing together: For being so easily identifiable as a band and nothing else.
Bing: Compared to some of the other branded outdoor venues, their “activity filled” space reminds me of what would happen if moms were in charge of planning their sons’ bachelor parties.