Every once in a while, we ask Grantland culture-maven Molly Lambert to hook us up with some stuff she’s watching on YouTube. And then — usually without her permission — we go ahead and publish it.
If Drake is a vampire then it’s been long established that Beyonce is a robot. Specifically a cyborg. Like, now that she is “30” and “a soon to be mom,” are we supposed to believe that she is going to continue aging like a normal human? Please. With her pregnant body mostly covered up, what is Beyonce supposed to use? Oh that’s right, her insane voice and gorgeously beautiful face. Oh pshhh, of course she’s going to dance anyway. You’re right, I had never thought about what Audrey Hepburn in “Funny Face” would look like as a curvy R&B goddess. Is she pregnant in this video? Is she a pregnant…sexy schoolgirl? Is she trying to one-up MIA for most baller pregnancy? Stop making the rest of us look so mortal.
I’d never seen a music video accidentally leave the Getty Images tag on a stock photo meant to be an establishing shot, but that is because I had never seen “Independent Bitches” by Candi Redd ft. Rasheeda and Kandi. (That would be Kandi Burruss, of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta and “No Scrubs” penning fame). I love this song like I love candy.
Cars 2 may have flopped, but that didn’t stop Video Brinquedo, the Brazillian CGI animation company that churns out Pixar ripoffs from going ahead with its “The Little Cars” series. Their wikipedia page calls these jankfests “direct-to-video animated Z movies.” This one is okay but it’s no Ratatoing.
Your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell this all means, but it seemed October appropriate.