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Machete Kills Trailer: Have You Gotten Your Fill of Disembowelment-by-Helicopter Today?

“Machete kills. That’s what he does.”

Making the first Machete (which, need we remind you, was based on one of the fake trailers from Grindhouse) was enough of a mandate to fill every last nook and cranny of the screen with the biggest, baddest, most ridiculous Looney Tunes violence possible. And now that Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo are on to no. 2?! Yeah, it’s getting loopy. In this new red-band trailer, we get crotch punches, forehead stabs, multiple decapitations, boob-based weaponry that’d make Katy Perry straight salivate, and not one but two gruesome murder-by-helicopter-blade moments. Also: Charlie Sheen is in this as the President of the United States, and he’s credited under his birth name Carlos Estevez. Also: Mel Gibson is in this as a crazed arms-dealer terrorist, and he seems to be playing the character by channeling the full might of his maniacal voice mail work. Also, Lady Gaga is in this, and at one point she says “Hola, motherfucker.” OK, now where is our full-length Werewolf Women of the S.S.?