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Afternoon Links: The Rock’s Pitch to Reboot Twilight

SnitchDe-extincting your franchise with Dwayne Johnson: The Rock, otherwise known as “Franchise Viagra,” imagines defibrillating Star Wars, James Bond, Batman, Shrek, and Twilight. (“We would introduce the biggest, baddest, most manliest vampire the world has ever seen or will ever see. Go to Kristen Stewart, grab her by the back of the head, pull her in closely. Here comes Pattinson. Pie-face him out of the way. Look at her before I kiss her: ‘We’re doing away with boyhood things.’ Push him out of the way. Give her the kiss. Change her life. Then I’d bite her; rip her face off.”)