Yesterday, we began our links by chastising the Internet for all it’s done to impair our enjoyment of all other sacred media, so today let’s kiss and make nice. Go ahead and adjust your VCR tracking so as best to enjoy this guide to the Internet for kids, a nice 1997 vintage with a fizzy body and notes of apple and those deliciously long ’90s mom-skirts. Your trusty guides, the Jamison family, have just discovered the Web and its “whole world of exciting new possibilities,” like e-mailing President Clinton and futzing around with Netscape Navigator. Check out those sick “chat lines”! A/S/L? Actually, ’97 kids, maybe just go back to watching Kenan & Kel for the next few years and check back when you’re not so abductable.
- Gia Allemand, an alumnus of Season 14 of The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad, has died of an apparent suicide. She was 29.
- Tom Hanks’s resolve vs. a pair of googly eyes. Winner: googly eyes. Also, Bosom Buddies had such a good opener.
- And speaking of Tom Hanks, he’s California’s most popular actor. The rest of the country breaks down like so.
- Julie Delpy wrote a star vehicle for Cate Blanchett.
- An intimate moment in a living room with Fiona Apple and Blake Mills.
- “So, word on the street is you like some pretty hardcore drugs … and stuff like that.” — Least Scary Drug Lord Ever
- Rejoice! Tina Fey and Robert Carlock are teaming up with NBC again for a new “female-centered workplace project.”
- Sandra Oh is hanging up her Grey’s Anatomy lab coat.
- John Stamos name-checks A-Rod in Necessary Roughness’s doping episode.
- This is Kevin Federline at his wedding in Vegas.
- Boy, everyone’s sure mad about Bustle! I just hope it teaches women the tricks we need to survive in this world.
- “GSN is bringing our viewers a series that answers the question I’ve often asked myself: ‘What on earth are men thinking?!'”– :(
- Elijah Wood, Rodarte, and Beach House take a spin in the blender.
- More well-earned problems for Chris Brown.
- The first trailer has dropped for Therese, starring Elizabeth Olsen, Oscar Isaac and Jessica Lange.
- Hashtagging your psychotic breakdown.
- Lionsgate has acquired Kate Atkinson’s best-seller Life After Life.