Here is a crowd-sourced Dunder Mifflin ad that will air during the Super Bowl in Scranton, and only in Scranton.
• Oh, and hey guys, got any hot sexy plans this weekend? Maybe gonna eat some poached veal with Larry King? Wear something trampy on your date with a pickup artist skeeve in a rape van? No? You could always try this online dating service that uses humans instead of algorithms if you’re interested in capturing the sensation of being set up by your “fabulous, drunk aunt.” Or you could save the $99 and just ask your own fabulous, drunk aunt for the hookup. Fabulous, drunk aunts have been making it happen since two-thousand-never.
• The 30 Rock thanksgiving and heartfelt good-byes continue. Though I can’t say I’m thrilled with the finally unveiled Ben and Jerry’s commemorative flavor: When are we going to finally accept that lavender is a sometimes flavor?
• Steve Capus exits NBC News.
• Pitchfork Music Festival announces its headliners: R. Kelly, Bjork, and Belle and Sebastian. The full lineup will be rolled out over the next few weeks.
Lady Gaga diva attack: “And I remember those words as clear as day, because when your best friend looks you in the eye and says ‘Why can’t I have that seat on your private plane, I’m your friend,’ the first thing I thought was ‘You’re not my f–king friend.’ ”
• Spoiler sheriff is coming for you, House of Cards enthusiasts.
• Don King, who loves Top Chef, may be the only person who objected to (SPOILER ALERT for those of you who are hoarding backlogs of TC in your DVRs) Josie’s exit. Seriously, King? She had to go.
• A different King, in a faraway kingdom (Maine), was compelled to write the sequel to The Shining because of the legend of a hospice Cat of Death. So that Iranian astronaut monkey thing, that was all a lie, right?
• Les Mean Girls escaped my Internet echolocation apparatus until just now.
• The spawn of PS3 will be unveiled on February 20. Prepare your thumbs.
• True Blood fans are hard-core. One sneaked us some photos during rehearsals for a Season 6 episode.
• What’s uncooler than being uncool? Twitter-sourcing. At least we got the sound bite “Alpacalypse!”
• You know what? I was going to suggest you implant foreign objects into your penises while you’re in prison, but after thinking a little more about it, I’m going to go ahead and say don’t.