There aren’t words for the emotions kids go through when you tell them you ate all their Halloween candy; only YouTube compilations can come close to portraying the next-level sensations of agony and betrayal. Jimmy Kimmel knows this, and he has an annual monopoly on the prank. Watch, laugh, feel horrible, feel tickled, feel hungry for candy.
Get your seeds out of Australia, Katy Perry.
How I Met Your Mother, the show that has spent nine years explaining one simple story and is now spending its entire final season over the course of one wedding, has a rhyming episode coming up. Wonder what their stance on gimmicks is.
History is remaking Roots as an eight-part miniseries.
Loki’s weakness: little kids liking Thor better than him.
Sam Jackson and John Cusack, having done the Stephen King thing in 1408, will star in the cell-phone-zombies tale Cell. King co-wrote the screenplay, a hobby he has largely avoided for the past couple decades.
Speaking of reunions: Adventureland buddies Kristen Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg will reteam for American Ultra, in which they’ll awkward-date.
Treme is about to end. Repeat: Treme is about to end.
True Life: I Signed Up to Make Amateur Porn With James Deen.
Utterly unmissable: A chopped-up David Hasselhoff doing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song. [h/t Slate]
Star Wars poster master Drew Struzan did the art for Frank Darabont’s new TNT show, Mob City.
Officially titled Nostalgic Illustrations of Famous Cars in Popular Culture, but could’ve easily been called Amazing Alternate Movie Posters and Titles.
And the best age to be a rapper is …