For your first course, a quartet of debates: the UCB versus a cadre of disgruntled comics; Tonto and the new Lone Ranger spot versus the Native American community (pairs well with a dipping sauce of bad puns); a squabble over whether Mike Tyson’s guest spot on Law & Order: SVU is a good idea considering the fact that he’s a convicted rapist; and, lastly, those who find this VW Super Bowl spot to be too much like “blackface with voices” versus “Jamaicans who live in Jamaica [who] have said that they are not offended by the ad.”
• Oh sweet lord, Jason London. What a mess: According to TMZ, London sneezed on a bouncer, then punched him. Predictably, a melee broke out, but unpredictably, London reportedly crapped his pants in the police cruiser after his arrest. He later denied the report, ending his statement with, “I hate Arizona.”
• Grub Street guesses at the top notes of the to-be-announced 30 Rock–inspired Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor: “Sandwich scraps (for Liz), paper (for Jenna’s Japanese-porn-star diet), pig (for that time Kenneth ate Harold), additional meat (made in Tracy’s meat machine), and Cheesy Blasters.”
• I can only hope that Wolf Man learns from Grizzly Man’s mistake.
• Thai soap operas “grease the conscience”: “A romantic scene in a Thai soap can make viewers pinch their pillow in excitement, and they may shed tears along with the characters in a distressing situation. That doesn’t normally happen when watching a Western series.”
• The new dawn of comment threads. This one’s for you, trolls. I love you (not really).
• The best news bloopers of January 2013. I was going to e-mail this to my mom but I figure I’ll just put it here instead.