Snoop Lion (né Dogg) Is the New Face of Hot Pockets

I mean, it was only a matter of time:

Yes, Snoop Lion is officially a spokesman for Hot Pockets. While the brand in question may surprise you, the act of doing a spot for something completely out of left field is all that Snoop knows. To put this in some perspective, the man has an entire section on his Wikipedia page dedicated to endorsements, and you have to scroll to see the full list.

He’s done everything, from alcohol (St. Ides) to apparel (Adidas) to gum (Orbit) to cars (Chrysler 300) to car dealerships (Cal Worthington’s Ford dealership in Long Beach) to Internet things (AOL) to candy that tastes like drugs (“Chronic Candy”). So when Hot Pockets came knocking (one has to assume it happened that way, even though the ways of the Lion are often still a mystery), why on earth would he say no?

It’s not just Snoop in the video, however. It’s really a team effort, this over-three-minute short film. He’s joined by rapper DeStorm and a 6-foot, robe-wearing Hot Pocket.

Oh, and Andy Milonakis, who continues to stay relevant in the strangest ways possible.

Wait, did I not mention it’s called “Pocket Like It’s Hot”? Very large oversight on my part. IT’S CALLED “POCKET LIKE IT’S HOT.” This is the hook:

Hungry kids in the crib ma
Pocket like it’s hotPocket like it’s hotPocket like it’s hot
When the craving’s got a hold of you
Pocket like it’s hotPocket like it’s hotPocket like it’s hot
And yo munchies get a attitude
Pocket like it’s hotPocket like it’s hotPocket like it’s hot
I’ve got the pockets in my arms
Settin’ off smoke alarms
And I eat ’em smokin hot
‘Cause I got it going on

Actually, here are all of the lyrics.

I’m a hot dude, with some hot dreams
Getting fired up, letting off steam
Everybody showing love — Herbie’s in da tub
Checkin’ applications for the Hot Pockets fan club
Pepperoni pizza, much better than some fish eggs
The interior too hot let it cool off for a few secs
I’m running for the taste, that can be my phys ed
Chompin Hot Pockets, that’s how you get ahizzead
Winners get the meaty meats,
Winners get da cheesy eats
The tag-team meal that’s too hot for TV
Get off my pockets, you gotta backup
Yup that’s whatssup, now sign the prenups
Me and Hot Pockets never gonna split up
You should think about it … take a second.

I bring the heat, but y’all knew that
Da Big Sauce Boss, yeah, I had to do that
I keep it fired up, even when I’m inside
You take what’s mine, then ya gonna have to run ‘n hide
He light ’em up so much that everybody talks
They all wanna turn in his Hot Pockets Box
Two, one, yep, three these Pockets are H O double T
Smokey temps hitting that three thirty three
If you can’t stand it this hot
Then you can’t chill with me
So bring your friends, we going on a wild ride
Herb sauce tender meats heat yo insides
So don’t change the dizzle, turn it up a lizzle
Got some cheesy drizzle dripping on my shizzle
Waiting on the brizzles, the pizzle, the dizzle Gs, when da cheese hits your tongue it’ll scream “Fo Sizzle”

Just gave it a second listen, and figured out that the 6-foot Hot Pocket’s name is “Herbie.” And he likes to hang out in hot tubs with women.

Oh, and when you’re referring to Hot Pockets in an urban context, you have to add a second t, as shown by the aforementioned versatile pizza rapper DeStorm.

Everything about this is perfect. From the Casio electric keyboard Kidz Bop instrumental version of “Drop It Like It’s Hot” to the fact that there’s smoke everywhere in this video ode to steaming food and lit blunts, I really can’t find a flaw. Congrats, all involved parties, for finally reaching PR/marketing nirvana.

Filed Under: Snoop Dogg, Snoop Lion

Rembert Browne is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ rembert