The third season of Hannibal premieres tonight at 10 p.m. ET on NBC, and, frankly, it’s at least a little bit surprising that it’s made it this far. That’s not because it’s a bad show. It’s definitely not bad; it’s excellent. It’s a little bit surprising because of how legitimately ghastly and terrifying the show is.
There was one scene early in Season 2 in which a judge had the top of his head lopped off and then his brains were placed on those Lady Justice scales.1 There was a scene later in that same season in which a guy literally crawled out of a horse’s stomach, and let me tell you, it was not nearly as funny as when Ace Ventura emerged from the backside of a rhino. There was an episode in the first season in which a guy was killing people and then cutting the skin off their backs and using them to make very gross wings. There was another episode in which a bunch of people were sewn together, and a completely different episode in which a bunch of bodies were stacked together as a human totem pole.
Do you want to look again? Go ahead. It’s not pleasant.
It goes on and on and on. You get it. The show is shocking and gruesome. So, to temper the terror, I made you a Hannibal mini coloring book. It’s not very long, but has pages with your favorite characters and some other fun stuff from the first two seasons. A couple of memorable crime scenes are included, but the gross parts have been covered up by adorable things in case you want to take your mind off the unrelenting darkness for a minute to color them with your children, or anyone who is not a brilliant psychopath who likes to eat people, really.
Print them out, grab your crayons, and, most importantly, … enjoy.