Winners and Losers

Life is filled with nuance and compromise. Luckily, Kevin Wildes has sorted through it all for our feature, Winners and Losers.

I’m a Red Sox fan, and I was a little happy when they lost.

That shouldn’t make any sense. It only makes sense because deep down in a New Englander’s gut, right next to the pancreas, lies a fondness for losing.

It’s not something I’m necessarily proud of, but I’ll admit it is there. (Also in this category: My Dukakis tattoo.) I don’t know why it’s there. Maybe it’s nostalgia from when I was a kid and my favorite teams were horrible. Maybe it’s because heartbreaking losses are the dips you need on the emotional log flume that makes sports fun. Maybe it’s a government implant.

Whatever the reason, when I sat down to write this blog post I thought: “Let me see what other New England-centric things I’m supposed to hate but I secretly love.” So without further adieu …

Things New Englanders Claim to Hate But Actually Kind of Love

  • Losing
  • Raking leaves
  • Injuries incurred from raking leaves
  • Whitey Bulger
  • Hard-to-get-at lobster meat
  • Having nine L.L. Bean catalogs
  • Del’s business plan
  • Bess Eaton’s business plan
  • Mosquitoes
  • Itchy sweaters
  • Mariano Rivera
  • Shoveling snow
  • Breaking a snow shovel
  • “Having” to go buy a new snow shovel
  • Jellyfish
  • Foxboro traffic
  • Wearing two different gloves because you somehow lost a glove even though they have a clip
  • Wade Boggs on the horse
  • Waking up every day and going to that construction job that Ben Affleck had in Good Will Hunting.
  • Pumpkin-flavored __________ (Sorry. That one was actually for next week’s column — “Things New Englanders Claim to Like But Actually Kind of Hate.”)
  • Tate George’s ponzi scheme
  • The seagull that swooped down and stole your lunch
  • Getting firewood in slippers
  • Black Ice
  • The Babe Ruth sale

A Running Diary of Game 162
Red Sox Nation: F@#$ These Guys

Kevin Wildes is a Coordinating Producer for ESPN. Follow him on Twitter at @kevinwildes.

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Filed Under: Boston Red Sox, Losers