The NFL Coaches Family Portrait: By the Numbers

• Pairs of Slip-on Shoes Being Worn: 17

• Level of Tension Between Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll: 6 out of 10

• Number of Coaches Who’ve Spoken to Marc Trestman: 0

• Number of Coors Banquets Jeff Fisher Had at Last Night’s Bob Seger Show: 4

• Number of Bob Seger Live Boots Jeff Fisher Recently Had Transferred From Cassette to Compact Disc so He Can Burn Them Into Windows Media Player: 8

• Number of Shirts Rex Ryan Has Stolen From D’Brickashaw Ferguson’s Closet: 11

• Number of Fellow Coaches Mike Shanahan Has Tried to Sell on a Once-in-a-Lifetime Real-Estate Investment Opportunity: 5

• Number of Times Tom Coughlin Has Told Andy Reid There Is Not a Mai Tai Machine: 8

• Numerical Amount That Mike Tomlin Wants to GTFO: Unquantifiable

• Level of How Pissed Off Marvin Lewis Is at Jim Schwartz After Schwartz Told Him, “We’re All Rocking Peach Tomorrow, You Wouldn’t Want to Be the Only One Not Wearing It.”: 1,000 million

•Number of Times Rob Chudzinski Had to Introduce Himself to Shanahan: 4

• Number of Times Greg Schiano Has Casually Asked Another Coach If There’s a Weight Room on Site: 9

•Number of League Employees Who Suffered Serious Burns From Thrown Hot Coffee Before Everyone Decided They Should Just Stop Telling Bill Belichick He Had To Be in the Photo: 2

Filed Under: Andy Reid, Chris Ryan, Jim Harbaugh, NFL, Rex Ryan, Robert Mays

Chris2

Chris Ryan is an editor at Grantland.

Archive @ chrisryan77