Reintroducing The Bad Quarterback League: This Time With More JaMarcus RussellBrett Davis/US Presswire
Readers of Grantland,
The response to Grantland’s Bad Quarterback League has been encouraging, intimidating and extremely helpful. But the Declaration of Independence was not perfected in one draft and neither was our original set of BQBL rules.
We received a slew of missives from readers with astute questions and/or suggestions that we had not considered or were too dumb to include the first time around. So before we started tallying points this season, we felt like it was important to address some of these issues and clarify the scoring and scheduling. Our addendum to the BQBL introduction is below. Everybody deserves a second chance to make things right, especially JaMarcus Russell.
- Regular Season Scheduling: This league has a 15-week regular season of head-to-head match ups. So if you have started your own, you have to set a schedule for your league. At the end of the 15 weeks, the top four teams will advance to the playoffs.
- Playoff Scheduling: Before Week 16 of the regular season, there is a redraft in which the top four teams draft from the teams that did not survive the cut after week 15. Keep in mind, these last two weeks of the regular season anything can happen, especially with teams that have secured a playoff spot and/or home-field advantage. More details will be provided as we get closer to this, you know, actually happening.
- Apology Press Conferences: If an apology comes during a regularly scheduled press conference (for example: after a game, during a weekly chat with reporters on a non-gameday), you get no points in the BQBL. Holding a special press conference for the purpose of apologizing does. If a quarterback generically says he’s sorry while he stands half-naked in a locker room after a loss, his mea culpa does not qualify. If he says he is sorry while he wears a pinstriped suit in front of a courthouse after a preliminary hearing, it does. We will make the final call in this matter, and it will be clear in the scorecard.
- The Terrelle Pryor Rule: Larry Bird had his own exception, Tom Brady has a case, and now Terrelle Pryor has his own rule: No quarterback’s suspensions that were handed out before the draft will count toward that teams score.
- “Benched” Scoring: If your team’s quarterback led his squad to a 30-point lead and does not take the field for the final drive because the coach does not want to risk him being injured, your team scores no points. Your quarterback needs to be benched because of their poor play. If this is confusing to you, then you really don’t understand the core values of the BAD Quarterback League.
- Starts Per Team: You can start a team no more than 11 times a season and no less than four.
- Scoring Suggestions: The following scoring additions to the “24/7” rules (except for that last one) are from e-mails we received. Special shout out to Nate in New Hampshire:
- Abruptly release the previous week’s starter: 35 points
- Bring in JaMarcus Russell for a workout: 30 points
- Sign JaMarcus Russell: 50 points
- Start JaMarcus Russell: 75 points
- Start dating anyone with the last name “Kardashian,” “Hilton,” or “Lohan,” or anyone who starred on an MTV reality show: 25 points
- Get in a war of words with Terry Bradshaw, Trent Dilfer or Steve Young: 25 points
- Pick-six to lose a game in OT: 50 points
We’re working hard to make this as easy as possible for you to run your own league, and we want nothing more than for you to enjoy this as much as we are. If you have any suggestions or questions, reach out to us at: firstname.lastname@example.org. If you don’t hear back from us, it is not because we are jerks, it is because we are too busy trying sticking pins into the neck of our Peyton Manning voodoo dolls.
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