NHL Trophies, Coolers With Wheels, and Gifts for People You Hate
Thanks to eBay, you can now buy things all sorts of random things that you didn’t even know you wanted. To make this careless spending even easier, we’ve compiled a list of various sports-adjacent things that you might want to waste your money on.
1974 Rogie Vachon Kings NHL Player Of The Month Award – $649.99
If you’re like me, and I’m going to go out on a limb and assume we’re similar in this regard, you’ve probably never won an NHL Player of the Month Award, much less know that there even was a trophy for said award. Well, thanks to Lucie Favreau antiques and some enterprising family member of Rogie Vachon (or possibly even Vachon himself) one of us can, for just $650 + shipping, own our own NHL Player of the Month Award trophy.
CRUZIN COOLER 500 WATT MOTORIZED COOLERS (More than 10 available – ED: BELIEVE IT OR NOT) – $675
The fundamental flaw of this cooler with a motorized scooter hybrid is that you can’t drive the scooter and also get a beverage out at the same time (because the seat is the lid). To me that’s a deal breaker. Also, the very long item description, which I recommend you read, warns you to, “Beware of imitators.” This seems like a straight-up lie because I’m not sure anyone is imitating this shitty-ass cooler/scooter hybrid.
Kobe Bryant Autographed Worn Cast PSA/DNA certified – $7500
When you have the chance to spend (almost) the price of a Kia automobile on a cast worn by Kobe Bryant, you can’t say no to that. Don’t worry guys, it’s been DNA certified.
Pro Deluxe Bull Riding Combo Deal Spurs Chaps Package – $699
Truth be told, our interns went about finding the initial list of random eBay stuff that was then whittled down to what you see here, so I’m really curious as to how they got to this particular listing for a weird pair of powder-blue chaps when we asked them to find things having to do with sports memorabilia.
Philadelphia Phillies1948 Wool & Leather Jacket – $650
OK, this is just a really cool vintage Phillies varsity jacket. Someone should just buy this. (Conversely, and I’m not sure if this is a selling point or not, but it looks a lot like something the rapper Freeway would wear.)
Vintage 1970’s Wicker Minnesota Twins Hat MINT – $17.99
If you’re into the Twins and ugly headwear, MAN DO I HAVE THE THING FOR YOU. Also, this seems like the sort of gift you would get someone you didn’t like for their birthday. “Wait, so you were willing to spend $25 on me for my birthday, but you chose to get me this thing for which I can never use or wear, ever?”