NBA Playoffs Shootaround: R.I.P., Indiana Pacers Gold Swagger

Lebron James/Dwyane WadeSo much amazing is happening, and the Shootaround crew is here to help you keep track of it all. You’ll find takes on moments you might’ve missed from the previous night, along with ones you will remember forever.

Miami, the Destroyers

People talk about how impossible it is to play against the Heat when they have the ball in transition. On Thursday night, we saw how pretty much un-defendable LeBron James and Dwyane Wade were in pick-and-roll situations. And we all know how devastating Dexter Pittman is in the paint. But what if Miami’s true gift is much more insidious than anything they can get accomplished on the court?

The Heat put the Pacers out of their misery last night, but it felt like suffering was just beginning in Indiana. The Pacers didn’t just lose, they got beaten. Larry Bird was in a funk, Frank Vogel looked worked over (and, honestly, a little undermined), Danny Granger rolled his ankle, and the #GoldSwagger army looked simply like a lot of Hoosiers wearing yellow shirts.

This is what Miami does, apparently. The circus comes to town and you are left sweeping up the crap. They apply pressure, everywhere, even off the the court — seriously, doesn’t all the griping about refs and calls and physical play seem like a smokescreen for Spoelstra & Co. to figure out how to engineer the offense without Bosh? — And they simply break teams. And then members of those teams break glass encasements (in case of emergency).
Chris Ryan

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Ryan

He Would Have to Be to Wear These Pants


Ryan

If Rick Ross Told You to Jump Off a Bridge, Would You Do It?

Apparently, if you are Kyle Morrison, the answer is yes.

Futuristic Texting With My Dad

Here’s how my cell phone will probably look on Saturday night as I’m exchanging texts with my dad (who will be attending Game 7 between Boston and Philly).

Me (7:55 PM ET): How’s the crowd?
Dad (7:56): Great! Pretty rowdy! I’d say there was some drinking before the game!
Me (7:57): In Boston during a three-day weekend? I find this hard to believe.
Dad (7:58): Guy in front of me already has his shirt off.
Dad (8:08): Bunch of Patriots here. Belichick just on JumboTron, got a standing O.
Me (8:08): Would be funny if they showed Bobby V., Schilling, Lackey, and Beckett in a suite eating chicken wings.
Me (8:18): RONDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad (8:19): He’s been incredible, you could see it from first play. Locked in.
Me (8:20): Owes us after Game 6 no-show. And Ray doesn’t look like he’s in cement.
Dad (8:21): Two days rest really helped KG and Ray. They have their legs tonight. I’m feeling confident!
Dad (8:29): So much for Ray having his legs.
Me (8:30: Get him out of there!
Dad (8:39): Ryan Hollins is going to give me a heart attack.
Me (8:39): Our bench sucks.
Dad (8:39):: Thanks again, Danny!
Me (8:39):: Can’t believe we blew a 12-point lead that fast. Go over to bench during timeout and stab Keyon Dooling so Doc will stop playing him.
Dad (8:39): I’d rather play Avery with one arm.
Me (8:39): Me too — I’d rather play Jo Jo White. Is he there? Can we get a uniform on him?
Dad (8:48): These refs are awful! Can’t believe they assigned Marc Davis to this game, he hates us!
Me (8:49): You should start a Donaghy chant. We can still win this game. I like how hard PP/Rondo/KG are playing, defense is really good.
Dad (8:58): Tired of this Lavoy Allen killing us. Where did this guy come from? He doesn’t miss!
Me (8:59): Need to get to halftime with the lead. This is a rock fight.
Dad (9:05): Turned into another ugly game. If this ends in 70s, that’s good for Philly — they can’t shoot.
Me (9:05): Need to start going to the basket. Hate that we’re tied at halftime. How’s crowd?
Dad (9:06): Drunk and nervous. I think your buddy J-Bug just got kicked out.
Me (9:06): Was he the guy who threw the wad of money at Marc Davis??????
Dad (9:06): I think so.
Me (9:34): RONDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad (9:34): Why doesn’t he do this every night????????
Me (9:42): RONDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad (9:42): RONDO!!!!!!!!!!!
Me (9:43): Tell Andre to keep shooting! We can put ‘em away right here.
Dad (9:59): Ugh, we just let them back in — what is Doc doing??????
Me (9:59): Stuck with bench too long … I think he was thinking about Game 1 Miami.
Dad (9:59): There won’t be Game 1 Miami if we keep playing Hollins/Dooling/Daniels.
Me (9:59): Can’t believe how much we miss Bradley.
Dad (9:59): How could Bradley get hurt? Youngest, healthiest guy on our team!
Me (10:07): I feel physically ill.
Dad (10:07): This is a root canal.
Me (10:12): Rondo has a quadruple-double — 10 points, 14 assists, 11 rebounds, and 10 missed layups.
Dad (10:12): He’s terrified to get fouled, he’s quick-shooting every layup.
Me (10:16): I’m slowly moving into “even if we win, Miami is gonna sweep us” mode.
Dad (10:16): Crowd really loud, fans realize team needs the help. Nobody’s made a shot in 10 mins.
Me (10:17): We’re shooting 35 percent, they’re shooting 34 percent. And somebody should shoot Marc Davis.
Dad (10:18): Guy in front of me is going to run on court and punch Davis soon.
Me (10:23): PIERCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad (10:24): UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!! Heated up at perfect time!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me (10:25): And we finally got a call!!!!!!!!!!
Me (10:29): What the fuck????
Dad (10:29): Who is Jodie Meeks and why did those two shots go in?
Me (10:29): Can’t believe this is coming down to final minute.
Dad (10:30): Miami has to be licking its chops right now.
Me (10:30): I know, both of these teams just suck.
Dad (10:31): We’re too banged up, it’s depressing.
Me (10:31): Limping to finish line.
Dad (10:31): If we can just get to next round, you never know.
Me (10:31): I think we know.
Dad (10:31): My cell phone is dying.
Me (10:31): Hope that’s not an omen for Celts. We need a hoop! Call me after game.
Dad (10:31): OK.
Bill Simmons

Filed Under: Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Dwyane Wade, Indiana Pacers, Lebron James, Miami Heat, NBA Playoffs, Rick Ross

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