JaVale McGee’s Crusade for Investigative Journalism and Non-Speculative, Facts-Based Reporting

JaVale McGeeOn the JaVale McGee front, news broke today that a bill has been filed in the Philippine House of Representatives to naturalize McGee as a citizen. Among other things, this would make him eligible to play for that country’s team in the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Fascinating story, one that I’m very excited to see play out.

But believe it or not, that’s the second-most important JaVale McGee–related news of the week. The other piece of news is more important, because it involves me, you, JaVale.

To put it plainly, I think he’s on to us, Internet. All of the articles and videos and tweets about JaVale being one of the goofier athletes to ever step foot on the professional hardwood weren’t as under the radar as we all thought. We assumed we were talking behind this guy’s back, but apparently JaVale has had the Internet this entire time and eventually began to understand how he’s perceived in the media. So what does JaVale do to teach us all a lesson for the borderline cyber-bullying? He lofts those of us, eager to break “news,” the easiest layup of a story since the unveiling of Nick Young’s Olmec-inspired blouse. That story:

JaVale McGee apparently purchased a pair of platypus. Actually, let me not paraphrase the actual words of JaVale. That would be rude.

And then, about 40 minutes later, he tweeted a pic, without explanation:

After alerting the world of his new “pets,” JaVale went on with his evening and following morning, but the MEDIA did not. Stories were written about JaVale, talking about his odd acquisitions that he apparently just copped. Articles by “reporters” and “journalists” claimed that, in classic JaVale fashion, he had made an interesting platypus investment, but the “reporters” and “journalists” who wrote these stories never consulted the platypus buyer in question.

Just. As. JaVale. Suspected.

So this afternoon, the mastermind alerted the world that the platypus adoption was a hoax and the photo was simply taken from Flickr. He made sure he got his main point across:

And that, my friends, is how you serve the media, courtesy of JaVale McGee. Using an issue as trivial and shockingly unimportant as the acquisition of a strange animal to domesticate, JaVale exposed himself as someone who is about more than big dunks and even bigger missed dunks. He’s a champion for professionalism and proper reporting.

As someone who probably would have written about this had I not slept in and then spent the latter part of the morning looping Mandy Moore’s “Candy,” I’d be lying if I said my approach toward my job hasn’t changed post-’GeeGate. Well, it hasn’t exactly changed, but there’s no way I’m getting clowned by JaVale McGee. I’ll stop at nothing to make sure that doesn’t happen. And I know if that day ever does come, that’s officially the day I finally quit this Internet thing and finally push “submit” on my application to Hollywood Video.

Filed Under: Javale Mcgee, NBA, Rembert Browne

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Rembert Browne is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ rembert