Chandler Parsons Achieves Peak Chandler Parsons, Signs Mavs Contract in a Club

This is Chandler Parsons signing his offer sheet from the Dallas Mavericks for $45 million over three years. This is Mark Cuban in the club with Chandler Parsons as he signs the offer sheet. This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, a match so perfect that Hans Christian Andersen could not have even written the first fairy tale about it because there is nothing sinister. This is Chandler Parsons finishing a drink and crushing the glass, even though it’s a flimsy plastic cup that a child could squash. This is Chandler Parsons and Mark Cuban allowing someone to film the proceeding from close up, probably hoping it would surface on YouTube today. This is Chandler Parsons asking Mark Cuban, “Every page?” Yes, Chandler. Sign every page.

This is the most Chandler Parsons piece of media we could have ever hoped for. Thank you, Mark Cuban, for helping Chandler Parsons meet his off-court potential. I hope he thrives with Dirk Nowitzki and Tyson Chandler. I hope he finds a better role model than Dwight Howard. And I really hope Houston doesn’t match.

Filed Under: NBA, Chandler Parsons, Dallas Mavericks, Houston Rockets, Mark Cuban, Juliet Litman

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Juliet Litman works on the Grantland Quarterly.

Archive @ julietlitman