About Last Weekend: Saints Still Searching for a Win

Shaun DraughnIn case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports over the weekend.

  • The Kansas City Chiefs overcame an 18-point deficit to stun the Saints 27-24 on Ryan Succop’s 31-yard overtime field goal. “You did such a great job calling plays!” said Succop to Chiefs coach Romeo Crennel after the game. “How did you learn so much about football? It’s really neat just to be around you and watch how you school the other coaches. Hey, do you and your wife want to come over for dinner sometime this week? Maybe Tuesday or Wednesday? Thursday or Friday work, too, or Monday. Mrs. Succop is cooking pot roast. Or whatever you want. She can always change the menu.”
  • Joe Flacco threw for 382 yards and three touchdowns as the Ravens nipped the Patriots 31-30, and a frustrated Bill Belichick grabbed a referee by the arm as he ran to the locker room after the game. There’s no word yet on whether Belichick will be fined, but the referee is reporting a persistent burning sensation in his arm, along with apocalyptic night terrors.
  • Christian Ponder threw two touchdown passes to Kyle Rudolph and ran for another as the Vikings upset the 49ers 24-13. More referee controversy ensued when a replacement official admitted that he incorrectly allowed 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh two challenges after fourth-quarter timeouts. “Whoa, timeout,” said Harbaugh. “I challenge whether that’s true.” The official then looked around nervously for six seconds before shouting, “Fine, I’ll allow it!”
  • The A’s avoided a sweep with Cliff Pennington’s go-ahead single on Sunday, beating the Yankees 5-4 and maintaining a 2.5-game lead on the Angels for the final wild-card spot. “Nicely done, Cliff,” said Cliff Lee to Cliff Pennington in a post-game phone call. “Nicely done yourself, Cliff,” responded Pennington. “Talk to you soon, Cliff.” “Likewise, Cliff.” The two then hung up and giggled for hours.
  • Ryan Flaherty struck out with the bases loaded in the ninth inning as the Orioles fell 2-1 to the Red Sox, missing a chance to join the Yankees in a tie atop the AL East. “Sorry to hear about your strikeout, Ryan,” said Ryan Ludwick to Ryan Flaherty in a post-game phone call. “Stop calling me, you f—ing lunatic,” Flaherty shouted, slamming the phone.
  • Brandt Snedeker is the FedEx Cup champion. His final round 68 at the Tour Championship at East Lake gave him a tournament win and secured the prestigious end-of-year title. His trophy will arrive at a neighbor’s house in 13–16 business days, completely shattered.
  • No. 4 Florida State remained undefeated, riding 667 yards of total offense to beat no. 10 Clemson 49-37. With fans from Tallahassee and Clemson packing the stadium, witnesses reported a record number of misspelled signs in the stands.
  • No. 11 Notre Dame held Michigan quarterback Denard Robinson to just 138 yards passing, including four interceptions, in a 13-6 win. “I guess I need to throw off both back feet,” said Robinson, who then practiced hurling bombs while falling backward.
  • Collin Klein rolled up 228 yards of total offense and scored the go-ahead touchdown as no. 15 Kansas State upset no. 6 Oklahoma 24-19. Afterward, Sooners coach Bob Stoops blamed himself for the loss, admitting that he had spent much of the previous week filming a “Gangnam Style” parody with his team. “It didn’t work out,” he told reporters. “Landry Jones is a f—ing terrible dancer, and he ruined it.”
  • After tweeting “we will win” before the race, NASCAR’s Denny Hamlin made good on his promise by earning his fifth victory of the season at New Hampshire Speedway. “Now we all gonna get laiddddd!” Hamlin tweeted after the victory, but crew chief Atticus “Zitsy” Dubose was not able to get laid.

Filed Under: About Last Weekend, Baltimore Orioles, Baltimore Ravens, Boston Red Sox, Clemson, Florida State, Kansas City Chiefs, Michigan, Minnesota Vikings, Nascar, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Yankees, Notre Dame, Oakland A's, San Francisco 49ers

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Shane Ryan is a contributing writer for Grantland. His book about the young stars of the PGA Tour will be published by Random House in early 2015.

Archive @ ShaneRyanHere